


Find My Way Back To You

by hopeduckling13



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Swan-Jones Family, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2019-05-18 17:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 47,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14857127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeduckling13/pseuds/hopeduckling13
Summary: Hope Swan-Jones is the product of the product of true love and her true love, so her having very powerful magic was always in the cards.  Luckily she lives in a town where everyone is very familiar with magic, so nothing can go wrong, can it?Or so everyone thought, but then one day as a newborn Hope accidently travels back in time with her mother Emma.How will the past population of Storybrooke react to their Savior having another kid and being married? And more importantly will the Savior and her baby daughter find a way back home to all of their loved ones?





	1. Prologue

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

 

By now I’ve gotten pretty used to the fact, that my life will never be ‘normal’. I’m the Savior of a small fairytale town in Maine, which is connected to all kinds of other fairytale realms with iconic fairytale people in them – and they’re nothing like their Disney versions at all. Also, everyone in this town is kind of related to each other in weird ways. The family tree is honestly so complicated, I doubt anyone really understands it. If someone ever wrote a book about it, it would probably be thicker than the clocktower is high.

And as if living there wasn’t already crazy enough, I’m included in all this mess…the constant crises, the confusing family tree and pretty much everything else in this town since I’m the sheriff and I broke the first dark curse. With the latter being the reason for why everyone always expects me to fix all off their problems even if I have nothing to do with them.

It doesn’t really help, that I’m the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, whom everyone in this town considers their leaders. It’s actually funny since my parents just crowned the Evil Queen the Queen of this all-realm, but no one really considers her the ruler of anything. It’s more like she doesn’t even exist, and I can’t say that I mind it. It’s quite refreshing not having to deal with her unreasonable dramas all the time. I only feel bad for my son Henry, who is her adoptive son.

He’s all grown up now and everyone seems to have realized that – everyone but Regina. She keeps following him around like a lap dog. She should really stop that. It’s not healthy. Henry isn’t ten years old anymore. He doesn’t need his mother fussing over him 24/7. He has his own family to take care of now – his own daughter.

I get that it’s hard to let go, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible and if Regina would start trying, she’d manage eventually. The problem is that she doesn’t care about anyone but herself. She doesn’t care that this might not be what Henry wants since she’s only focusing on her own happiness. I wish he would tell her that since she must hear it from him in order to believe it, but he’s a good person, who’d never even hurt a fly. It’s one of the reasons I love him so much.

And exactly that helped me get over him leaving Storybrooke after graduation. I knew, that wherever he might end up he’d be strong enough to remain true to himself. I knew that wherever he might be I’d still love him, and he’d love me in return – even though he was cursed for a while, but I still think that deep down he carried me in his heart because I thought of him every single day and so did the rest of our family.

So, in the end him leaving was never a terrible thing. Me and everyone else in Storybrooke might’ve missed him and felt his absence every day, but deep down I know that this was the right thing to do for him. He had to leave to find his happiness and the moment I truly accepted that was the moment his absence hurt just a little bit less.

I remember that day clearly since it’s the day Killian and I had a serious conversation about our future. We realized together, that you can’t live in the past and try to change things that happened a while ago – and you shouldn’t even try to change possible mistakes since you can’t avoid pain in your life forever. All you can do is look forward to happy moments, which will eventually light up your heart after the darkness tried to swallow it. That pain and the mistakes too won’t weaken you unless you let it happen.

So, after we realized that, we quickly came to the conclusion, that we don’t have to stop living our lives just because Henry is all grown up and is trying to build his own life. We must accept his decision and just keep living our happy white-picket fence life together. This once again isn’t an ending as Killian said back on his ship, when we first suspected that Henry might leave home soon, it’s a beginning and as we soon realized it was a happy beginning since that day Killian and I decided that we want to start trying to have a baby.

Six weeks later after only a few negative pregnancy tests, we got a positive one and we were ecstatic. I still remember the tears in both mine and my husband’s eyes when we looked at each other after looking at the test. We both were at a loss for words and just hugged a lot in between sweet, but passionate kisses, while the tears of joy were still streaming down our faces like our eyes were beautiful waterfalls.  

Our joy hasn’t faded ever since. We were so incredibly happy, that we couldn’t even keep my pregnancy secret for a day. We actually planned to wait with telling everyone just so we could enjoy our happiness in peace without my insane mother, who’d get a big folder out of her secret stash as soon as we would announce the pregnancy. We knew she’d start getting crazy in an instant with planning a baby shower and the baby’s nursery.

The only problem with our plan was, that we were invited to my parents’ place for dinner that same day and our smiles were so big and bright, that as soon as we entered the house my mother realized that something was up and we caved in almost an instant and told both my parents and my little brother about our baby growing inside of me. That part actually went better than I thought – I always expected my dad to either faint or get very angry, but he was actually the one who started crying first and it weren’t tears of pain. He was also the first to hug both me and Killian and run his hand lovingly over my stomach.

My mum was very happy too, but just as we expected before she brought the big planner out of her closet to the living room right after dinner and started planning basically everything – including the doctor’s appointments, which I honestly didn’t see coming.

But all in all she was a great help during my pregnancy and I wouldn’t change a single thing even though she could be annoying at times, when she went crazy because we never really decided on a name until the moment our baby was born and one word just felt right: Hope.

Because that’s literally what she is. I was so upset and at a dark place when Henry first left, but as soon as I found out about my daughter, I felt hope again. I worried less about every little thing that might go wrong in Henry’s life and just started to trust him more, that he’d let me know instantly if something bad ever happened to him. Because of Hope I found my happiness again and was proven that Killian was right all along: this is far from being an ending, this is the beginning of a whole new story with lots of new adventures.


	2. Chapter 1

 

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

 

Killian and I get woken up by our screaming baby every few hours at night since Hope can’t sleep through the whole night just yet. With that being the case, it’s become quite normal for us to sleep a little later than we (or actually just Killian) are used to – surprisingly Hope sleeps quite well from 6 to 10 am.

But there is something different happening today. It’s not the time. And Hope’s cries don’t wake us either. Today we wake up to the scent of freshly baked cinnamon pancakes and hot cocoa with cinnamon. We are quite alarmed by it and assume that it is another villain once again, who breaks into people’s homes and smells of breakfast – which might sound insane, but if living in Storybrooke has taught me anything it’s that nothing is too crazy to be true. So, we quickly run into Hope’s nursery, which is right next to our room, to check up on her. But she is okay and still sleeping soundly. Once we were sure that Hope is one hundred percent fine, we walk downstairs, while I prepared to use my magic against the intruder. And I almost did hit them with my magic, but at the last minute I realized, that my dad was here. It was too late to stop my magic completely by then, so now we have a little hole in the basement door. It’s not perfect, but better than David losing his head. I should fix that door one day with my magic, but right now I only use it in emergencies since I have no idea, if I have unlimited access to it, while I’m as exhausted as I am during the first few weeks of my daughter’s life.

“Dad, what the hell are you doing here? I almost killed you with my magic!”

David quickly turned around and a big smile covered nearly his whole face. He approached us quickly and took our hands, escorting us to the table. Once we reached it, my dad pulled both our chairs out for us and literally pushed us to sit in them.

“Okay, I’m officially worried, dad. What is going on?”

“Can’t a father cook for his daughter and his son in-law?” said David, while setting another plate with a stack of pancakes on the table and filling both mine and Killian’s plates with his famous and quite delicious baked goods. I’m happy, that for once in her life my mother was capable of keeping a secret. If David knew, that Killian and I once referred to pancakes, when my mother walked in on us trying to have sex on the kitchen table, he would never ever make pancakes again. And what a loss would that be.

That is also why I told Killian to stop referring to Hope as our little pancake, when David is around. He might put two and two together otherwise after the whole tacos thing a few years ago after my mother and I came back from the Enchanted Forest.

“Sure, you can do that, but usually when you do it, you’re up to something. Last time you made me pancakes here was the day after I told you and mum that Killian is moving in with me.” I smiled at my now husband and took his hand across the table. I still remember the day I asked him to move in and now I smile fondly, while thinking about that memory. I’m glad that I could overcome my fear caused by my visions that day since there’s no one I’d rather live with than Killian, and Hope of course. “So, what is it this time, dad?”

David sighed and put his cooking spoon down, before sitting down at the table too.

“I just wanted to help you, Emma. I know how exhausting a new-born can be each night and you guys might hide it well, but you are quite sleep-deprived. I mean you almost fell asleep during the coronation Emma.” To my defence the coronation was pretty boring, and I only went there to show off my baby anyway. So, who cares if I actually would have slept during Regina’s speech? I mean who wouldn’t drift off in that boring situation. And Killian’s head was so comfortable against my own. I couldn’t help it. “Also, you are always so busy with little Hope, that I hardly see you anymore since I’m always at the station, when you visit your mother and brother. But it’s okay, I can go, if that’s what you want.” David got up from his seat, but I quickly reached for his hand and motioned for him to sit back down.

“I never said, that you weren’t welcome here. I was just wondering why. Now have breakfast with us.” I smiled at him and he gave me a smile in return.

After that we didn’t really talk about anything in particular anymore. We chatted a little about Hope, which has been the only thing on our minds ever since she was born three weeks ago. My father loved her a lot. She was his little sunshine and he constantly asked a thousand questions about every single detail of her day. Killian and I were always happy to tell him everything since it gave us the opportunity to relive every moment with Hope, while our little angel was sleeping soundly.

But speaking of our sleeping angel, she isn’t quite so sleepy anymore. Like five minutes into the breakfast, she started waking up and announced that by crying very loudly.

“I’ll get her.” I say, while already being on my way upstairs to Hope. As soon as I look into her crib the crying subsides and by the time I pick her up it’s completely gone. She’s mostly a very quiet baby, that isn’t troubling us too much. As soon as she’ll sleep through the night, she’s going to be the best baby that’s ever lived. And I’m not just saying that because she is my baby.

“You want to say good morning to daddy and grandpa?” I give her a sweet kiss on the cheek and then we’re making our way downstairs to the boys. I focus on Killian, while we’re going into the kitchen and I must say, that his big smile as soon as his eyes land on our baby never gets old. I enjoy watching it just as much as I enjoy watching Hope herself. In the past I never pictured my life being like this. I never thought that I’d be married one day and least of all to a fairytale character. I never expected to have another child either, but I’m glad that this is my reality now. I’ve never been happier and that’s all thanks to my little family.

I sit back down on the table while holding Hope close to me and smile softly down at her cute little face. My dad affectionately strokes her head and Killian reaches over the table and lets her hold one of his fingers.

“So, do you guys have any plans for today?” My father asks, and Killian and I quickly look at each other.

“I don’t think so.”

“It’s nice weather for sailing. Elsa called yesterday to check up on Hope. Maybe you three could visit her with the Jolly Rodger.”

That sounds like a nice idea, actually. I haven’t seen Elsa since the day after Hope was born. After that she had to get back to Arendelle since she’s their Queen.

“I think that is a great idea. What do you say, love?”

“Let’s do this. I’m sure Elsa would be very happy about the visit and it would be Hope’s first time on the ship. Why don’t you get the ship ready to set sail and I’ll quickly feed Hope and dress her. The more time we’ll have later to show Hope around Arendelle and your ship, too.”

“Sounds like a plan, my love.”

I gave Hope to David, so that Killian and I could clean the kitchen. David complained about it, but we wouldn’t hear any of it since he already made the breakfast for us. Then we quickly went upstairs to change and have a little bit of a smooch. Once we were finished, David put Hope back into my arms and said goodbye to us. Then we walked over to Killian and I gave him a short kiss.

“We’ll meet you at the ship in a while, okay?”

“Yeah, my love. I’ll see you two then.”

He then leaned down to kiss Hope’s forehead and the sound she made almost sounded like a little laugh. She really is too adorable for her own good.


	3. Chapter 2

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

After Killian and my dad left, me and Hope quickly went back to mine and Killian’s bedroom to retrieve Hope’s nautical diaper bag and her pink bottle. That was at least the plan, but she’s so adorable, that it’s quite easy to get distracted by her.

So, I ended up lying on the bed with her in my arms. I rocked her softly and she was making these cute little noises again. I’m sure it won’t take her long to actually learn how to laugh. She shouldn’t know how to smile for her age either, but she already did on the day of the coronation. That was actually the reason we were late even though my mother was giving us weird smirks, when I apologized to her once again for us arriving late. She probably thought we were already working on a little sibling for Hope – which we weren’t. That doesn’t mean though, that you can’t have a little fun. And to our defence, we didn’t plan any of it. It was Hope’s fault actually, whom my mother probably also blamed at the coronation if anyone asked about our whereabouts for my father’s sake.

_\--- Flashback to coronation day ---_

_Killian and I are  just casually sitting next to her crib after we dressed her and watch her mesmerized, memorizing how beautiful she looks in her adorable tiny dress. I am holding one of her little hands and Killian is softly tickling her stomach. And before we know what is happening, she is smiling at us._

_“Oh my god! She smiled, Swan!” Killian says, while I say, that we should get the camera quickly. She might do it again, after all. So, we both run from Hope’s nursery to our bedroom in quite a hurry – something unplanned was bound to happen and it did. When we tried to run through the door of our shared room at the same time our arms and legs somehow tangled themselves together and we fell to the floor with a loud thud._

_After that we couldn’t stop laughing for what felt like hours. We totally forgot why we went to our room in the first place and just laid next to each other on the floor. Probably a few minutes later Killian’s laugh faded and the expression on his face suddenly turned serious. He stared in my eyes for only a moment before running his hand all over my body – starting with my head and working his way down to my feet. Then he stands up and quickly pulls me to my feet too, keeping his arms locked tightly around my waist._

_“Are you okay, Swan? Are you hurt anywhere?” Killian asks worried, when he was finished with examining me, looking as intensely at me as if he intends to drill a hole in my head any second._

_“I’m fine. You?” I smile reassuringly at him and he just gives me a little nod before leaning in and pressing his lips to mine with a sudden force and urgency. He must have been even more worried than I thought – not that that’s new. He’s been extra protective ever since we found out that I was pregnant with Hope and her birth obviously didn’t change anything about it. I slowly pull away long enough to tell him that I’m fine multiple times between kisses. And after a while his body seems to relax again. I pull away again when that happens and put my hands on either side of his face._

_“I’m not made of glass. I won’t break that easily, so stop burdening yourself with your fear caused by your protectiveness.” I lean my forehead against his and hug him tightly to me._

_“I know, Swan. You’re a tough lass, but sometimes my worry gets the best of me. I apologize for overreacting.”_

_I look up at him and shake my head slightly._

_“No need to apologize. I don’t mind it. It’s actually quite adorable, but I know that all that worry must be getting to you somehow. So, stop worrying and just focus on our happiness.” I peck his lips, but he pouts at me._

_“My love, Captain Hook is many thing, but not adorable.”_

_I laugh at his silliness and tease him by continuing to call him adorable and cute. He’s clearly very unhappy about it and cuts me off with his lips on mine in no time. Mission accomplished. He runs his tongue over my lips, trying to gain access to my mouth and I gladly grant it to him, letting our tongues fight our previous ‘fight’ about how adorable the fearful Captain Hook actually is._

_Soon I wrap my legs around his waist and Killian walks us to our bed, lying me down on it and climbing on top of me to reconnect our lips. We just lie there kissing heatedly for a while – lost in our own world. Killian then begins to trail kisses down my neck, starting at a spot right behind my earlobe, which always drives me insane. I let out a sound, that’s a mix between a groan and a moan before realizing how much we should probably stop this right now._

_“Killian, we should stop. We’re going to be late for the coronation.” He lightly sucks on my pulse point and another moan involuntarily escapes my mouth. Hope was in the next room, so we’re already scarring her for life – and she’s just three weeks old._

_Killian brings his lips back to mine and starts talking to me, while pecking my lips in between every single word he says. “We still have some time left before it’s over, Swan, and would you really mind missing it?”_

_“No. But my mother would most certainly kill us and then Hope and then us again.”_

_Killian stops kissing me then, putting his hand on my cheek and staring deeply into my eyes. “Swan, she’d also kill us, if we arrived in these clothes. So just see this as a way of changing out of them.” He smirks at me and his eyebrow rises. That’s kind of another reason, he’s so adorable. But I should probably keep that to myself even though it would be quite entertaining to watch him try not to use his eyebrow thing anymore. I’m sure he’d fail in only an hour._

_“I like the way you think.”_

_I quickly use my magic to soundproof the room and to close the door for Hope’s sake – everyone else is probably at the coronation by now, so no one should be rude enough to just walk into our house right now._

_I then smile naughtily at my husband and start to unbutton his shirt in record time before pushing it off his shoulders and throwing it to the floor. I pull his face down to mine once again and kiss him deeply to distract him, while I hook one of my legs around his waist to roll us around, so that I’m straddling him. I quickly sit up and throw my shirt to the floor to join his. Just as I was about to lean back down to kiss my way down Killian’s chest, we get interrupted by our baby’s screams._

_Things never really change in Storybrooke, do they? Even now that it’s peaceful here we still get interrupted 24/7. But maybe it’s for the best – Whale did mention something along the lines of us not having sex for at least a few more weeks. Shocking though that he feels the need to mention it since every time we tried since Hope was born, she interrupted us at some point and also it can’t be that dangerous, can it?_

_We get off the bed and I throw Killian’s shirt in his direction. He catches it with his hook and I chuckle at it._

_“Can you go check up on her? I’ll change into a dress and bring you your pirate jacket in a moment, okay?”_

_He nods and walks over to me to give me one last kiss before walking out of the bedroom. Soon I hear him speaking sweetly to Hope and her crying subsides._

_\--- End of Flashback ---_

Speaking of crying babies, my daughter does the exact same thing right now and pulls me away from my thoughts about the coronation day. I look down at her and stroke her head softly. “Is someone ready for breakfast?” I continue trying to calm her down, but it doesn’t work, so there I have my answer. I pull the strap of my tank top down and lift Hope up a little, so that she can nurse. I don’t think, that I’ll ever get used to the pain of breastfeeding but seeing Hope so at peace every time she eats makes up for it. I continue to watch my daughter in awe, while she feeds on my milk, until I notice something weird going on. Suddenly Hope’s hands light up much like mine do every time I use magic, so what the hell is she doing? I always suspected that she’d have magic one day since she’s the product of true love just like I am, but I never thought that her magic would work that early.

Before I can even try to figure out how to stop her, we’re suddenly sitting on a bench at the docks. How the hell did she do this? Teleportation is extremely complicated. I only learned it when I was the Dark One, so how exactly did my new-born baby daughter figure out this spell? Maybe Elsa can figure it out later. She had her magic very early, too, right?

Well it doesn’t matter right now. For now, we’ll only focus on enjoying the journey on the Jolly Rodger. Hope probably only brought us here because she misses her daddy and I do too, so I pull my tank top strap back up once Hope has finished her meal and stand up. I quickly grab the diaper bag and throw it over my shoulder, while also making sure, that I support Hope’s head and don’t let her fall. We manage this quite well. I’ve been through worse things before – like the actual underworld, so it shouldn’t be too much for me to carry a diaper bag and a baby at the same time.

“Let’s visit daddy and go on an adventure with his ship, my little angel.”

We then make our way towards the ship.


	4. Chapter 3

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

Killian is on deck, when Hope and I arrive on the Jolly Rodger. I take a moment and watch him working on his ship in awe. Everyone always says, it’s such a terrible thing that Killian is still pirate and he should just stop it because it’s awful. But I don’t share their opinion, nor do I care about it. He’s come a far way from when we first met, we both did – him still being a pirate and him still loving his pirate ship don’t change anything about that. I find it great, that he still has something important from his past in his life – and he loves it as much as he loves his current life. Many people aren’t strong enough to keep objects in their lives, that are connected to shame and pain – I know that better than anyone. There’s a reason after all I had such a lack of personal objects, when I first moved to Storybrooke. I always thought that it was easier to just pretend the painful memories aren’t real. But that’s wrong. You have to face your past in order to accept it. You can’t just run away. So, in many ways the pirate thing and the ship are a symbol of strength and true redemption to me.

Also, it’s stupid to think, that Killian should abandon a hobby of his and pretend to be someone else just because some people in Storybrooke don’t agree with his lifestyle choices.

I love how happy sailing makes Killian, so I automatically enjoy watching him on the Jolly Rodger, which is what I’m doing right now. He can get very focused, when he’s working on it, so it’s truly no surprise, that he doesn’t notice us at first. I check on Hope once again before stepping farer onto the ship.

“Hi. You mind some company?” I say, while approaching him.

He looks up at me and I can tell, that he’s very confused. He doesn’t even need to tell me in order for me to know it since I’m not the only one who is an open book – I understand him without words, too. I always did deep down, even though I never would’ve admitted it to him – or even myself, when we were climbing the beanstalk. Like he said that day, I did know, that he was telling the truth to me and that’s kind of the reason I left him up there, which sounds weird, but it’s true. For most of my life everyone had lied to me, so him being honest with me scared the shit out of me. When I realized that, I did the one thing I was familiar with: I ran. I ran far away from him and his possible feelings for me, that I knew might even be mutual. 

“No. But why exactly are you here, Swan?” He says, while eyeing both me and our baby weirdly. At first, I’m confused, but then I quickly get what he means. He’s probably surprised we’re already here. I mean he did just arrive here, too, and I told him back at the house, that I’d get Hope ready for the day, which can take a while depending on how fuzzy she is that day. There’s no way we could already be here, if Hope hadn’t teleported us – not even if she was the most peaceful baby in the whole world.

When I make my way to him, I give him a quick kiss. By his reaction to it I gather that he’s still confused, which makes no sense, honestly. He seems to be lost in his own world, while also being…shocked about my greeting. What the hell is going on and why is he acting so weird? Automatically my mind suspects the worst again in just a split second. Something must have happened to him on his way here. So, what is it? Another villain even though there hasn’t been one since the final battle? It’s the only plausible explanation.

I knew that Regina’s stupid curse would have terrible consequences. I don’t know how no one else sees this?! She did this! And this time, I’d love to let her fix her own problems, but unfortunately I can’t because I don’t trust her not to fail. And this needs to be fixed more than anything – my husband is at stake after all and there’s no way I’ll give him up now after everything else we’ve been through. I’m so sick of her. Couldn’t she just have stayed behind in that fake town full of the fake people from the fake wish realm? I wouldn’t mind not having any of them or her in this town – it’s what’s best for everyone’s safety. The only problem is, that Henry would never just let her go. She does is his mother too and he loves her, which is the only reason I pretend not to hate her. But I do. I do hate her. And after I fix this problem, I’ll make sure she never messes up this bad ever again – I just don’t know how. Yet. But I’ll think of something with the help of my husband. We’re quite the team after all, which is why I’m certain he can help me. I’ll just pretend that nothing weird is going on for now. I’m going to play his game, until I figure out how to reverse this stupid curse. Maybe I just have to make him fall in love with me again, which will be easy since he never even tried to hide the fact, that he was attracted to me in the first place – not on the beanstalk and not after that either even though he was ‘done with me’ then. I honestly never really believed his speech that day, when I look back now. Back then I might have, but then I tried my best to hate him, which really wasn’t an easy task. We always had a connection and that made it almost impossible for me to pretend he’s just another villain, disturbing Storybrooke. He probably only held that speech for Cora’s sake since he didn’t trust me anymore to take him along to Storybrooke. That was my fault – not that I ever thought of it as a mistake during my mother and I’s trip to the Enchanted Forest. It took slowly falling in love with my pirate to realize, that I should’ve trusted him. We’d never have had the whole Cora problem that way and maybe there would’ve been less villains later on too.

“Are you okay, love? Why are you here anyway?” His voice interrupts my thought process and I realize, that I totally blacked out on him for the minute or so. I was so focused on finding out what was happening, that I didn’t even realize I was still here on his ship.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“You’ve come to ask me more about Cora?” He tilts his head to the side and I almost sigh out of relief. At least the stupid curse only messed with his memories – days after it was cast, which is weird, but I learned that magic usually works in mysterious ways. I can fix this pretty easily. I should head back to town and look for my parents. I’m sure they can help me figure out how to get my pirate back.


	5. Chapter 4

**\--- KILLIAN’S POV ---**

 

I’m working on my ship, while I try to figure out how to skin my bloody crocodile, when suddenly Swan’s voice echoes through the air.

“Hi. You mind some company?”

I quickly – maybe too quickly –  turn towards her and look at her. Bloody hell. I should just stop looking at her as soon as she enters the room - or my ship in this case - all the time. She left me on the beanstalk to die. I should hate her for it. I should really want her dead or at least honour my whole ‘I’m done with you’ speech – we’re enemies after all. But I just can’t. She’s obviously attractive as hell and there’s just something else about her. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I know it’s there. Why else could I read her every thought? Why else would I stare at her as soon as she’s close enough. Why else would it take me so bloody long to realize, that there’s a baby on her arm?

Now I’m confused. During our whole adventure together back in the Enchanted Forest, Swan only ever mentioned her son and that she needed to get back to him. I always figured, that he’s be quite a bit older. And why does she dress her son in a weird clothing piece, that is pink with little purple anchors on it? And why does the baby wear a little bow on her head? I don’t know much about this world, but I figured, that the clothes wouldn’t get any crazier, but I suppose they did. 

But well focusing on more important matters. Why the bloody hell is Swan here? Has she come to grill me some more about Cora? Didn’t I make it clear enough the last time she did, that Cora has her own agenda and we aren’t really allies here in Storybrooke? How often does she need me to tell her that? Not that I mind her company or that commanding voice she used the last time she interrogated me, but I’d rather have her come here because she wants to be here, than her just doing her job. But I guess, that she’ll never visit me voluntarily anyway. Unless her bringing along her son, who looks quite like a girl to me, is a sign of trust. She wouldn’t want to endanger him, so I doubt she’d bring him along to my ship, if she thought, that there’s a possibility I’m going to hurt him. But that’s probably all just wishful thinking on my part. I should stop getting my hopes up since there’s nothing worse than giving yourself false hope. It’s just going to get my heart broken in the end. I’ve seen her walls after all and I doubt, that she’s ever going to let me break them down. She’s probably never even going to admit to herself, that we have a connection. Why does she have to be so bloody guarded and stubborn?

All I am for her is another villain disturbing her home. The quiet town called Storybrooke, in which I’m not welcome. Not at all.

“No. But why exactly are you here, Swan?”

Better get this over with. I know myself, that she isn’t here for me, so I once again remind myself to eliminate that little piece of hope in the back of my mind, that refuses to die out. Swan will never care about me and I shouldn’t care about her either. I have to work on that – it can’t be that hard, right?

Or maybe I don’t have to give up on her after all.

She might look at me a little weirdly after I asked her the question, but she’s still coming over to me. As soon as she’s close, she leans up on her tiptoes and presses her lips on mine. It’s only for a few seconds, but even that small kiss makes me totally lose my mind. The way her lips feel against mine is incredible and it just feels...right – like in a weird way, that’s where our lips are always supposed to end up: pressed against one another. And even more shocking besides the point that Emma Swan just kissed me out of nowhere is, that it sort of seemed to be a familiar gesture to her – like we’ve done this before. But I am very sure, that we indeed never did this. Not ever. There’s no way, that I wouldn’t remember that bloody hell of a kiss. So, maybe this all just proves, that there is a connection between us.

I dare to look at her again, when I realize that, to check whether the kiss had the same impact on her as it had on me. And by what I can see, it did. She seems very confused and disorientated, lost in her own thoughts. I just keep looking at her because it’s something I’ve seemed to have grown quite fond of. I get lost in her eyes then like she’s lost in her thoughts, until I realize how wrong this is for what seems like the hundredth time today. I can’t possibly develop feelings for this girl. She doesn’t trust me and that will never change, so all I’m doing by falling for her is signing up for heartbreak. I can’t do that. I can’t get distracted from my revenge. I’ve come here to kill Rumpelstiltskin and that’s all I intend to do here. There are no friendships or relationships on the schedule – not even with Emma Swan.

It won’t be easy not to fall for her since our connection is very real, but I have to at least try. We both aren’t good at relationships and we’ve been through enough, so this would only hurt us even more since there’s no way it’s ever going to work out.

“Are you okay, love? Why are you here anyway?” I say, while trying to sound harsh, when in reality I just want to be nice to her and show her the kind of man I could be – the good kind – for her and even her cute kid, which keeps looking at me with shining eyes.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She really isn’t, but I won’t question her about it. That would be the job of someone, who cares about her and I’m trying not to care after all.

Because all I care about is my revenge. It’s stupid that I keep having to remind myself of that.

Why does Swan have to have such a big impact on me? My whole revenge mission sounded far easier before I met her and that’s saying a lot since I spend hundreds of years in Neverland and some days my crew kept telling me to give up. I never did, but I can’t say, that the idea of it didn’t sound tempting at times. The temptations caused by Swan are far worse though and I’m afraid, that I’ll give up my revenge any day now – for her. I can’t let that happen. I just can’t. Sorry Swan – and for the first time since I became Captain Hook I actually mean that.

“You’ve come to ask me more about Cora?”

Swan seems relieved, so that’s probably exactly why she’s here. I knew it. She quickly opens her mouth to answer, but stops immediately, when the little lad begins to cry softly, while he reaches his hand out to me. Emma then looks from the baby to me and repeats that multiple times, before speaking to me again.

“Killian, would you mind holding her for a minute?”

 _Her_. So, my original assumption was right. This is a baby girl. But how is that possible? She mentioned only her son and this baby seems to be only a few weeks old. In that case Swan must’ve still been pregnant in the Enchanted Forest or given birth there. Neither of those options is possible. Something is incredibly off about this whole situation. First the kiss and now the baby…

What the hell happened? Did Cora make a mistake and we’re in some parallel universe? No. That’s not possible either since Swan only started acting strangely today. It must be a curse or something. Maybe the crocodile knows about mine and Swan’s connection and is trying to do to me, what I did to him by pushing Belle over the town line. He might be messing with Emma’s mind or something.

Suddenly I get thrown back to reality and away from my thoughts, when Swan moves even closer and begins to put the baby in my arms.

“Swan, I have no idea how to hold a baby – and my hook – “I begin to say, but it’s already too late since Emma has already put her in my arms. Surprisingly the little lass stops crying and pulls on one of the lapels of my jacket with her hand. I can’t help but smile at her.

I look back at Emma and see that she’s looking at my hook before putting some pink thing on its tip with magic – and what’s the worst about this is that I don’t even complain to Swan about that thing. I don’t really care about it either since it keeps the baby safe. What the hell happened to me? And what the hell happened to Swan? I didn’t even know, that she had magic up until now. She always seemed too good and nice to have it, but I guess there are good magicians, too.

“You’ll be fine.” Swan smiles one more time at me, before picking up a bag. She opens it and pulls out a tiny woollen blanket with the name ‘Hope’ stitched on it.

She looks at her baby and gives her a little kiss on the forehead. That isn’t good for me at all since her head is far too close to my nose right now and I can smell her intoxicating smell far too much. If Swan continues this – whatever it is –  any longer, I don’t think I can manage to stick to my plans anymore. But I don’t want her to stop either, so there’s no way I can bring myself to tell her to go.

“You’re probably very cold, right? Don’t worry. I won’t let anything happen to you, my little angel.” Emma talks to the baby in a very adorable voice. It’s quite high pitched, but not in a ridiculous way. She gives the baby another small kiss – on the cheek this time – and I try to figure out whether the baby is more adorable or Emma.

Then Emma begins to wrap Hope in the blanket and I – the most feared pirate in all the realms – actually help her with my hooked hand. I think now I can officially say, that the plan I had when I came to Storybrooke hasn’t only been made more complicated, it failed. I already had a thing for Emma but seeing her with this cute baby made things a hundred times worse. I’m totally screwed.

Once Baby Hope is wrapped in the blanket, she begins to close her blue eyes and Emma takes her back into her loving arms. She watches the baby in awe, while softly rocking Hope to sleep and I’m afraid that my heart will burst any second. Seeing Emma with her baby just does things to my heart, which I thought was long rotten by now. She seems to be in her element. The little lass can be quite happy to have a mother who loves her as much as Emma obviously does.

I don’t know how long we stand there like that – Emma looking at her daughter and me watching them both alternately. But when Swan looks up again, she still has a big smile on her face.

“I should get her home.”

“Yeah. You do that.”

She hesitates a little, before kissing my cheek.

“Goodbye, Killian.”

What? Since when does she use my real name? It sounds far too good when she says it. I think Swan actually wants me to have a heart attack.

“Bye.”

Swan turns around and walks off my ship. I watch her leave, while touching my cheek on the spot she kissed me. I really am so damn screwed.


	6. Chapter 5

 

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

I can feel Killian’s eyes on me as I leave his ship behind me. I know he doesn’t have his memories and true loves kiss obviously won’t break this curse, but I couldn’t help not giving him that cheek kiss before I left. It might be confusing to him now, but he’ll get it as soon as he has his memories back, which hopefully will be the case very soon. I can’t say, that I didn’t need this kiss right now, either. It would have been too weird for me to just walk away without a real goodbye since I’ve kissed Killian whenever I went somewhere without him for years now. Also, this was kind of a symbol to me. A small message of hope, that makes me believe that everything will be okay. It has to be. I won’t give up. That wouldn’t be fair to myself or to Hope. She deserves to have both of her parents at their best and we’re at our best, when we’re together without anything in our way.

Speaking of my adorable daughter, I momentarily stop on the middle of main street to look at her. I checked on her multiple times during our walk, but now is the only time I stop walking since my baby is awake. She looks up at me with sleepy eyes, that kind of seem sad to me.

She might have realized, that something bad happened. She really is a smart kid.

I softly stroke her head. “Don’t worry, sweetie. We’ll find a way to save your dad. Soon. I promise.” I whisper in a soft voice, trying to sound confident for Hope’s sake, but I don’t think it worked out too well. I’m not even sure, if I was trying to convince her or myself.

“Let’s go get some help.”

I’m going to search for my parents now and they’ll help me figure this out. My dad mentioned, that he had some work to do at the station today, so that’s where I’ll check for him first. If he’s not there, I’ll check at the school since my mother should be there, unless she went to get lunch. But that wouldn’t be too bad either since I know, she always eats at Granny’s.

Luckily, I don’t have to search for long though, so making plans was pretty unnecessary, I realize that as I walk into the station. I hear their voices as soon as I’m inside.

“Emma, is that you? Are you back already?” I hear my mum ask me.

“Yeah.” I answer, while closing the door behind me and Hope.

I walk inside the main room, where my parents are, too. My dad is working through some paperwork and my mum just watches him. She is probably visiting him during her lunch break. I’m sure Killian would do the same every day, if he wasn’t working with me and my dad. That’s also why I miss him a lot. This is the longest we’ve been apart for as long as I can remember. It’s honestly a wonder we never get tired of each other, but I guess that’s what true love is all about. Anyway, that proves how much I need my parents help with the whole memory loss problem.

“I’m glad you’re here. There’s been a problem. Killian’s memories are kind of messed up and I need your help retrieving them.”

Both their heads swing in my direction instantly and they look at me as if I’m a crazy person, who should be locked into a mental hospital. Then their eyes narrow on Hope as if they don’t know her at all.

“Emma, who is Killian? And whose baby is that?” My dad walks over to me cautiously and puts his hand on my forehead, checking for a fever, probably. When he realizes, that my temperature isn’t too high, he looks relieved, but there’s still a weird kind of worry hidden in his eyes.

“Killian? Do you mean Hook? Why would you care about his memories? He took Belle’s memories, so he deserves it.”

What the hell?! That was so long ago. Belle isn’t even alive anymore and they were friends before she died. All this can only mean one thing. My parents don’t remember the last few years either. What the hell is this curse doing? Is the whole town affected?

“The curse messed up your memories, too.” I say and they both look at me with even more pity and worry.

“Emma, I think you should go home and rest a little. You’re not well. There is no curse anymore. You broke it a few weeks ago. Everything is fine. This is all probably just the stress talking – I mean no one could blame you. So much is happening – Cora being here, Hook trying to kill Rumpelstiltskin and having injured Belle because of it…” My dad says, while he puts his hand protectively on my shoulder.

“I’m well, everyone else just isn’t.”

It’s that moment that I realize, that something is incredibly off about this situation. All of this can’t be connected to the curse. There’s no way the whole town could be affected a few days after the curse happened. This can’t be it.

“We’re fine, Emma. Did Cora do something to you? To confuse you or anything?” My mother says.

 _Cora_.

Killian’s memories went back to that time, too. Does that mean what I think it means?

I look down at my daughter and her tiny hands. She’s so small, that you wouldn’t think of her as extremely powerful, but she is. I’m the product of true love, which gives me strong light magic already, but Hope obviously has even stronger light magic. She is the product of the Savior’s true love with her pirate. I was wrong to assume she only brought us to the docks because she missed her daddy. It might be what she intended to do, but no one has taught her how to control her magic yet. So, it’s no surprise, that something went incredibly wrong. Killian has been telling her the story of how we met and fell in love almost every night before she went to sleep. She probably thought of those stories, when she wanted to travel us to the docks, so instead, she brought us back to the docks in the past.

I should’ve realized this all sooner. No wonder true loves kiss with Killian didn’t work. True love can break any curse, so I should’ve seen, that this isn’t caused by a curse.

I shouldn’t have underestimated my daughter. But who would think, that a baby is capable of travelling back into the past. When Zelena tried to open a time portal with her dark magic, she needed many ingredients and she had to die to activate the portal, but Hope can open a time portal with the flick of her hand? That’s insane and if I wouldn’t be so worried about how we’ll get back home, I’d be very proud of my baby. I once before had to find my way back to the future, but I doubt the wand will work again since we didn’t really travel here through a portal. One second, we were home and the next we were at the docks. Travelling through a time portal is different. I know that for sure since Killian and I fell through one the last time – well I fell, he jumped after me.

“I know this is going to sound crazy, but you don’t happen to know how to time travel, do you?”

My parents looked even more confused now and as if they didn’t have enough on their plates already, my past self just walked into the station with takeout from Granny’s. As soon as she sees me, she lets those bags drop to the floor though and stares at me with an open mouth.

“Who- What- Why?”

She obviously doesn’t manage to get a full sentence out and I’m not surprised. I might have travelled to the past before, but it’s still weird for me to see myself. And another problem is that this time I changed the past far too much already. There’s no way I can fix this without taking everyone’s memories. So, I don’t only have to find a way back home, I also have to find a forgetting potion that works on the whole town. That’s just great.


	7. Chapter 6

**\--- PAST EMMA’S POV ---**

David and I are working on some of the paperwork stuff today. It’s not very hard and it’s boring, so it gives us plenty opportunity to sort through our thoughts about everything that’s currently happening in Storybrooke. And to mentally start planning for the impending doom.

Cora, who is a very bad person and managed to get the Evil Queen to work with her, is in my hometown and she’s threatening everyone I care about. She hasn’t made a real move yet, but I know, that it’s happening soon. I should get as much peace and quiet now as possible.

Also, Captain Hook and Rumpelstiltskin recently got into a fight, which resulted in Belle losing her memories and Hook being hit by a car. I’m assuming that that fight will continue any minute now since I got a call from Whale earlier, who said, that Hook discharged himself from the hospital. So he’s probably already planning his next attack on Gold. I’d try to stop all that, but I must say, that I don’t really care about what happens to either of them. Especially Gold since he mentioned, that he’s soon going to cash in that favour I still owe him for saving Ashley’s baby from him. He’s a crazy person, so the favour will probably be insane too and I don’t really feel like finding out what it is about. I doubt it’s going to be something pleasant and easy. Why can’t he just cash in his favour for a hair of me. I am magical and special after all because of who my parents are.

If all that wasn’t enough, there’s also a stranger in Storybrooke, which is very weird. For 28 years no one but me was able to enter or leave the town and now there’s this weird guy who tweets pictures of his food. Greg Mendell. He just drove over the townline with his car like it’s a total normal road, running over Hook in the process.

So, with all the drama going on in Storybrooke at the moment, no one can blame me for grabbing my gun, when I hear the door to the sheriff station open. I point the gun to the entrance of the room and only put it down once I realize, that the intruder really just is my roommate Mary Margret. I sigh in relief.

“Sorry. I thought you might be Cora or Hook or something like that.” I apologize. Mary Margret just waves me off and tells me, that it’s understandable, which is not exactly a lie under the circumstances.

“What are you doing here, Mary Margret? Aren’t you supposed to be at school?” David asks his wife, when she walks over to him and gives him a peck on the lips. They smile at each other and I feel like making up an excuse to leave the room. I hate couples. They make me very uncomfortable and that’s not just because I don’t do relationships myself. That might have been the case, if I was looking for someone to be with, which I’m not, so there’s no jealousy at all involved.

“I’m on lunch break and I thought we could get some takeout from Granny’s and have lunch together. As a family.” Mary Margret answers and I need to leave more than ever. I can’t handle hearing the F-word just yet. I’ve been alone all my life, so I just hate it when Mary Margret pretends that’s not the case and we can just be one happy family. But at least her idea gives me an excuse to flee.

“I’m getting us some takeout. You guys wait here.”

I don’t give them an opportunity to stop me as I grab my red leather jacket and almost sprint out of the building. Finally, some much needed air and space. That is at least for as long as I see Hook on the other side of the street, heading in my direction.

“Swan.” He says cheerfully as a kind of greeting and I just sigh in annoyance. He leans down as if he’s about to kiss me and I push him away without a second thought, while glaring at him. What the hell is this about? His stupid innuendoes and the constant flirting aren’t enough for him anymore?

“What do you want, Hook?”

He tilts his head and sighs to himself like he’s somewhat disappointed.

“So we’re back to ‘Hook’ and no welcoming kisses? Too bad. I quite enjoyed our previous arrangement.”

What the hell?! Neither of those things ever happened! What kind of drugs did they give him at the hospital? They obviously didn’t mix well with his precious rum. Or maybe Gold messed with his brain, which doesn’t really seem like his style at all. I’m pretty sure, that if Gold made his move by now, Hook would be dead already.

“You’re a crazy person and now move out of my way.” I almost yell at him. I don’t even know what it is about that guy, that makes me so angry whenever he’s around. It’s probably pure hate. I mean he’s so damn infuriating – he acts like he knows me and can read my every thought, which he definitely can’t. He might have figured out that I’m an orphan, but who knows how he knew that. Cora probably told him since they’re besties. It was the right decision to leave him on the beanstalk – if I would have trusted him, I probably would’ve never made it back to Henry. Because Hook would have stolen the compass from us to give it to Cora.

“So harsh, love. Ouch.”

I roll my eyes at him, before continuing to glare at him. Maybe I’ll develop a superpower to kill Hook by simply glaring at him, if I try long enough. I do have some kind of magical powers after all since Cora couldn’t rip out my heart.

“I’m not your ‘love’, so don’t call me that. Also, leave me alone.” I say as I start moving towards Granny’s. Unfortunately, Hook has no intention of listening to me and follows me, which shouldn’t be a surprise since he never ever did anything I told him to do – like stay in his hospital room, so Gold doesn’t get the chance to kill him right there on the spot or stay at the hospital for as long as he needs to stay. The list goes on and on. I stopped counting by now – not that I ever started to begin with since I don’t give a damn what he does.

“But that would be no fun, Swan. You were the one that wanted to keep me company remember, _love_?” I shouldn’t have said anything about the nickname. Now he’s just saying it on purpose to upset me – and it works. Whenever he says it, I feel the need to strangle him with my own hands.

“I might have mentioned wanting us to hang out to you…in your dreams, Hook. Now go back to your stupid ship and do whatever it is you do in your free time – perhaps plan your stupid suicide mission against Rumpelstiltskin.”

He laughs in disbelieve.

“So, you’re still convinced you’re actually going to get your revenge on the Dark One and live to tell the tale.” I don’t even ask him, but rather make the statement. I know his answer anyway. He really is delusional. Maybe he isn’t acting weird at all today and all those creepy things he’s saying are normal for his standards. I wouldn’t put it past him. Not anymore. “I told you before in the hospital and I’m telling you now. If you continue your revenge mission, you’re going to be dead soon.”

“It’s not like I have anything to lose since he took away everything I cared about.”

Not having anything to lose, I do know what that feels like. It sucks a lot. It’s the first time since I met Hook, that I kind of understand where he’s coming from. Maybe we aren’t so different after all, but that doesn’t change anything. He’s still my enemy and I don’t want anything to do with him. So, I pat him on the shoulder in understanding as if to wish him good luck, before walking away.

“Suit yourself.”

This time he doesn’t follow me, but I can feel his eyes on me the whole way to Granny’s.

 

 

I get some grilled cheeses with onion rings for me and the other two at the station from the diner run by the old lady. When I exit Granny’s, Hook seems to be long gone and I sigh in relief. I don’t think I could have handled his annoying self a second time today. He somehow gets under my skin no matter what he does, and it bothers me. It’s like my body keeps telling me to trust him, which would be a big mistake. I can’t control myself around him and that’s dangerous – after all I still have no idea why I touched his shoulder earlier or why I told the nurse at the hospital to hide him. The walls I build around my heart seem to dissolve whenever he’s there, and that’s a terrible thing. They’re there to protect me after all, so they can’t fail me. Not after all these years.

Lost in my thoughts about Hook, my walk to the station passes in a blur. It’s over before it really started, and I contemplate sitting in my bug just for a little while, but I decide against it. It might be really hard to spend time with Mary Margret and David, but I can’t hide from them forever – they would never let me. Also, I do appreciate that they care about me. It’s just hard to forget all the years I’ve been on my own. Someone caring about me, it’ll take some getting used to. Maybe in a few years I’ll be ready to accept them as people who are related to me.

As I walk into the station I hear a faint voice, which sounds awfully much like my own. What the hell are Mary Margaret and David doing? Are they watching some of the security footage in a weird attempt to get to know me? And that right when I thought this town couldn’t get any weirder?

But apparently my life wasn’t crazy enough yet, I realize as I walk into the main room of the sheriff station. My assumption would be a total normal thing in comparison to the truth, really.

There, standing right in the middle, am I? Or at least someone who looks like me? And talks like me? She seems a few years older and has a new-born baby on her arm. At that realization I let the food, along with my jaw, drop to the floor. I try to get a question out, like who she is and what she wants, but I still can’t move anything, including my mouth. The few words I do get out sound like a weird whisper. I don’t even recognise my own voice anymore.

The other me then approaches me and smiles softly.

“Don’t freak out, okay? I’m you…” She says, and I feel my eyebrows raising to the clouds. What the hell? How can she be me? I’m me. This stupid town is like the worst place to live at. “I’m from the future and I need your help to get back home. I’m sure together we can figure something out.”

Time travel? That shouldn’t even surprise me anymore, but it does. And she wants my help to get back to the future? Who does she think I am? A wizard or something?

Also, she’s me. But she can’t be me. When I gave up Henry, I swore to myself, that I would never ever risk getting pregnant again, so how the hell do I have a baby in the future? There’s no way this was an accident, I wouldn’t let that happen. Not ever again. That can only mean, that I let down my walls for someone, which means more future pain. Love isn’t real after all and it only brings you wasted years and endless torment. I don’t want that to be my future. I’m kind of doing okay right now, why do I have to destroy that again?

Oh god, this is all too much, I think as I storm out of the sheriff station because I doubt I can stay there a second longer without suffocating. Let’s just hope no one will follow me. I need to be alone. Sometimes I think, that I really should just go back to Boston. I had a better life then.


	8. Chapter 7

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

I approach my past self and smile at her, in an attempt to calm her down. I know the next part will be hard to hear for her and possibly her parents, too, but my focus is on Emma right now. I wouldn’t even include her in this, if I thought I had another chance, but unfortunately, I doubt that. We’re both saviors, so I’m sure combined our magic could be powerful enough to reopen a time portal.

In our childhood no one ever really cared about us, so smiles directed to us were a rare occasion. So, I smile at her now, to show her, that she can trust me, and her walls aren’t necessary for her right now. I know it’s going to take time for her to let me in, but this could be a start. All I really know is that I have to be careful and patient with her since she’s been through very tough things before coming to this town and there are only more terrible things about to happen – like Killian’s deaths and the visions about the final battle once she just got him back. So, in a way the smiles are also meant to comfort her and to let her know that everything will be okay. Why not try to give her a little hope, while I’m here? She has earned it.

“Don’t freak out, okay? I’m you…” I say to her softly. I can momentarily see how much this freaks her out, but I continue talking to explain this weird statement to her. “I’m from the future and I need your help to get back home. I’m sure together we can figure something out.”

For a flash nothing happens, but then suddenly I see Emma’s eyes flying wide open after a blink. Her face turns extremely pale and she looks at me and at Hope in fear. Not even a heartbeat later she runs out the door because all of this is too much for her. I should have known that, but I guess that back then I really didn’t know myself all too well. I never bothered to get to know myself because I knew that no one else wanted to know me either. It was always easier to build my walls up higher and higher and to run away whenever things got too real. It was a good way to avoid pain. It wasn’t that hard to make myself believe, I was never going to be happy, either, so I was more than willing to sacrifice any chance at it.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see how my mom starts to follow Emma, but I stop her. She’s already freaking out. This would be too much for her now. She needs her space for a while, and then I’ll talk to her.

“Don’t go after her just yet. She’s freaked out and scared. If you push her too much right now, it’ll send her running. Or she’ll build her walls up even higher than they already are. She needs her space for now before anyone should comfort her. Trust me.”

My mom straightens her posture, crossing her arms in front of her. She’s about to argue, but that’s nothing I can’t handle. I’ve gotten used to her lectures by now. I might’ve not been able to talk some sense into her about how wrong the whole coronation thing is – Regina’s past victims having to bow in front of their family’s murderer even though she honestly doesn’t deserve it since she never even bothered to apologize or give them back their hearts. I won’t fail this time though.

“She needs her mother right now. You said yourself that she’s scared. Emma runs when she’s scared. You should believe me. I am her mother, I know best.”

So, she knows me better than I know myself? Interesting. I wasn’t even aware of that. If anyone actually does know me better than I do, it’s Killian, I’d say. That is because we spend literally all our time together and we understand each other – always have and always will, unless I already changed the future too much and can’t change it back. But let’s forget about that and be optimistic right now. And that means changing my mom’s mind since me leaving Storybrooke was never a good thing before.

“So, you’re just going there to control her – to make sure she isn’t leaving?” How typical. She only ever cares about anyone who isn’t Regina, if it’s for her own personal gain. I know she loves me, but something she has a shitty way of showing it. That just proves, that she doesn’t know me as well as she might think. Back then I didn’t let anyone see my real self, not even to my roommate, who turned out to be my long-lost mother. “That’s definitely not what Emma needs right now. I know what she needs because I am her. Remember?”

“So, the time travel thing is real?” my dad asks, obviously having blacked out on the conversation and the rest of the world until now. I can’t blame him. They might be fairytale characters, but this can still be a little hard to process. I guess I got my weird reaction from whenever I meet a new fairytale character from my dad then.

“Yes. I know it’s a lot to ask anyone to believe in, but it’s true. In this town, the crazier something is, the most likely it’s real.”

Dad nods and smiles at me. He then uncrosses my mom’s arms and takes her hand. She seems to relax, too. I should thank him for it later. He’s really the only one, who can break through her stubbornness at times, which might be because he’s just as stubborn. He’d just never admit it.

“If you say so, then it’s probably right.” My mom says to admit her defeat in this debate. I sigh in relief and smile at her and also my dad brightly. And it’s in that moment, that Hope begins to make these laugh-like sounds again. I instantly look down at her and realize, that she is already looking at me. I beam lightly at my precious daughter. Then I pull her up a little and hug her more tightly, but I still make sure not to hurt her. She continues her ‘laughing’ and I press small kisses to her cheek, which only seem to make her happier.

For a moment I was lost in my own little bubble with Hope, until mom and dad begin to speak again. “So, that really is your baby?” my mom says, which causes dad to cross his arms. “Who do I have to kill for knocking up my daughter?” he says. That statement makes me giggle a little since it’s so typical for him – always being my overprotective father.

But then I realize, that I should answer something. I’m just clueless as to what I’ll say to them. The truth could change the timeline, but so could a lie. I mean I do have already changed enough and need a forgetting potion or spell for the town, but would it be smart to tell them even more about the future?


	9. Chapter 8

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

I’m clueless as to what to do or say to my parents now that they’ve realized, that I’ll have another child. The only thing I do know right now is that I need more time to think and Hope will help me out with that. She’ll be a distraction to keep my parents from asking any more questions. It has to work, and it will. I know how obsessed my mom can get about babies after all – and Hope isn’t just another baby, it’s her adorable granddaughter. She’ll probably forget all about her and dad’s questions.

I smile at them and approach them closer. “Do you want to hold your granddaughter?” It’s not like I could’ve denied that she is my daughter. Firstly, because I’m a terrible liar and lying about this would also hurt too much – it would feel like I’m betraying my baby daughter in some way. I don’t want that to happen. Not ever. And secondly my parents could guess that by simply looking at her, too. She has my hair – at least she will one day since she doesn’t have much of it yet, but the few hairs that are there, are blonde like mine. And she also has my cheekbones and lips, which makes her face look a lot like mine. From Killian she inherited her nose and her eyes, which I was hoping for during my whole pregnancy. Him and her just have the greatest eyes I’ve ever seen. They make me fall in love with them more each time I look at them.

“Of course.” My mom reaches out her arms and I put Hope softly into them. Now I can only hope, that neither of my parents has ever really paid attention to Killian’s eyes and puts two and two together. I know I noticed them even then. They’re just really hard to miss since their blue is so incredibly intense.

Before I take a step back from my parents again, I run my hand over Hope’s head to let her know, I’ll still be here. That I’m not going anywhere – not without her anyway. When I draw my hand back, my daughter has other plans since she reaches out her tiny hand and holds one of my fingers tightly. So, I keep standing there and smile down at her, while letting her hold my hand.

Then I feel my dad’s hands on my shoulder as he watches Hope over my shoulder. It’s actually funny how it’s years before Hope is even born, but my parents still react the same way they do, whenever Killian and I visit them with Hope.

“She’s so adorable, Emma.” My mom says, while smiling down at her granddaughter.

“I know.” She’s the most adorable kid in the world after all. I keep looking at my mom, who smiles at Hope, that is at least until her eyes narrow on my hand – or more accurately my rings. Oh crap. I should’ve taken them off as soon as I realized, I’m in the past. But of course, that’s something I haven’t considered. Until now I haven’t even noticed their presence since I’m so used to them by now. And even if I noticed them, I wouldn’t have wanted to take them off since they’re the only thing of Killian’s I have right now – except for his past self and our daughter. The rings give me strength, when I need a reminder that Killian and I can get through literally anything.

“Oh Emma, you’re married? I’m so happy for you.” She smiles, and I try to give her a smile in return. Let’s just hope she leaves it at that. But that’s probably just wishful thinking. It’s unlike my mother to just let something go. Sometimes she’s just too nosy for her own good.

I feel dad’s hands on my shoulders tighten a little. I can only imagine he’s having half a panic attack right now at the thought of his little girl getting married and having a baby in the near future. Hopefully he won’t faint. I might not be able to see his face right now, but I’m sure it’s a lot like the one he made, when I first told my parents I’m going on a date with Captain Hook. Or that time I told them, that I asked him to move in with me.

“I knew it was the right thing to start planning your wedding.” What? She did start right after the first curse? I thought she was joking about that! But well it looks like even then my mom thought Killian and I will end up together. I wish I would have been that smart. It would’ve saved us a lot of trouble and time.

The only thing that I don’t understand is, why my mom was pushing me towards Neal, when he was still alive. It makes no sense, that she wants me to be with someone, even though she’s planning my wedding to someone else.

“So, you weren’t joking, when you said you planned my wedding ever since the curse broke?”

“I would never joke about that. And these things take time, so I knew I needed to start as soon as possible.” She looks proudly at me.

I feel my dad’s hands fall off my shoulder then. I turn to him to check whether he’s okay. He is. I see that he’s crossing his arms and kind of glares at my mom. “Mary Margret, there’s no need to hurry. You shouldn’t pressure Emma into marrying someone too soon.”

Not again.

Their disagreements were annoying enough the first time. Then my dad wanted to make sure, that my wedding doesn’t get crashed like theirs – which it kind of did anyway, but I don’t really care. Sure I would change it if I could, but I still look back at that day fondly since I got to marry my true love. And that’s all that matters to me.

And with my mother being who she is, I doubt it’s my last wedding…she’s probably already planning one for our ten-year anniversary.

“Stop it. Everything will be ok – with the wedding and all that.” I say to mom to calm her down and then I speak to my dad. That will be the harder part, I guess. “I’ll be okay, dad. My husband is the right person for me and we’ve gone through great lengths to protect each other. I won’t get hurt by him. And I’ll always be your little girl – he doesn’t change that in any way. You actually get along great with him. He’s like your best friend.”

My dad sighs in what seems to be relief and uncrosses his arms. “I believe you.” He says before taking a place next to my mom and hugging both her and Hope. My parents both smile down at Hope as she releases my hand and falls asleep again.


	10. Chapter 9

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

While my parents continue to gaze lovingly at Hope, I decide it’s time to check up on Emma. She freaked out earlier as soon as she saw the baby. So, it’s probably not the best idea to take Hope along. I guess that only leaves her staying with my parents. I hate going anywhere without her, but I don’t have a choice right now, if I don’t want my past self to run to New York or some other place that is not Storybrooke. Also, I trust my parents with Hope, even though I’m in the past. They’ve proven themselves to not have changed at all in the past half hour. They clearly adore Hope and if there’s anyone besides Killian, I’d ever trust enough to take care of my baby, it’s them.

“Will you look after Hope for a little? I’m going to check on…well on myself.”

“Of course. That’s a very pretty name by the way.” They both smile at me. And of course it’s a great name, it’s our family motto after all.

I pick up the diaper bag from the floor and open it. “Everything she could possibly need is right in here, okay? Diapers, another blanket, her little octopus plushie, her bottle – “then my mom interrupts me.

“Emma, it’ll be fine. You’ll only be gone for like ten minutes. Hope will be okay.” She assures me.

“I know. I know. I’m just nervous because I’ve never left her with anyone so far except her dad. She’s only three weeks old. It’s hard to let her go.” They look at me with pity and sadness. Oh shit. I’ve probably reminded them of how they had to send me to another realm just a few minutes after I was born. They chose to save everyone else that day to my own disadvantage. I know how guilty they still feel about it even though they wouldn’t change their decision, if they could. That’s why they’re such good leaders and everyone listens to them even though Regina is supposedly the Queen. She’d never sacrifice her own happiness for the sake of everyone else’s. She’s just not fit to be a Queen, so technically everyone still sees my parents as their true rulers.

“We know it’s hard, but you can do it, Emma. Everything will be fine, when you get back here.” My dad says, while he approaches me and gives me a tight hug. He runs his hand over the back of my head, which makes me smile. They really didn’t change at all – that’s what he always does when he hugs me after all.

I pull away from the hug and my mom puts Hope in my arms for one last time before I have to go. I pull my baby daughter close to me and rock her a little in her sleep. I feel the tears start to burn inside my eyes, before they eventually stream down my face. Ever since I got pregnant with Hope my emotions intensified a lot and I got very emotional very fast. This is one of those moments triggered by the knowledge that I have to say goodbye to Hope now – even if it’s just for a few minutes, it’s still hard. It kind of gives me flashbacks to the time I had to give Henry away. I never even got to hold him because I knew that if I did, I never could’ve given him away. I just loved him so damn much, which is why I had to let him go. I wasn’t ready, nor fit to be a mother right then. My living conditions weren’t the right environment for a baby. If I would have kept Henry, that would have been the most selfish thing I could have done. So it was kind of the right decision to give him up for adoption even though it hurt like hell.

And now the time has come that I have to say goodbye to Hope for the first time. I would have expected it to be far easier than giving up Henry since I thought then, that I’d never see him again, but the pain isn’t much smaller. I might only have to let Hope go for a few minutes, but it’s still one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Defeating either of the villains, that have visited Storybrooke in the past doesn’t compare – not even closely. I mean in this town there’s no knowing for sure whether she will be safe and sound. There’s no certainty, that I’ll be alive to come back to her. Why do I have to always expect the worse anyway? It’s really exhausting.

I begin placing small kisses all over Hope’s head. She opens her eyes and smiles at me, until she apparently sees the tears on my face. She then reaches her hand out and touches some of them. She’s probably trying to wipe them away, which really proves - if the eyes and mine and Killian’s true love weren’t an indication – that she’s her dad’s daughter. There’s no way anyone could question that anyway since it would be the most delusional thing I’ve ever heard. I smile fondly at the memory of Killian wiping away my tears during my first time-travel experience. Oh damn. I miss him so much. I can’t wait to get back home.

“Mommy has to leave for a little while to help a friend. But you’ll be fine. Grandma and grandpa will take gook care of you. I’ll be back as soon as possible.” I say softly to her, while continuing to bounce her back and forth. “I love you, Hope.” I whisper into her ear before starting to place her back in my mom’s arms, but then I pull her into mine again. “Just one more minute.” I hug her tightly to me as if I’m afraid someone might take her away from me any second, which is kind of true. She has to stay behind with my parents after all.

“Emma, it’s going to be okay. Once you’re back here, it’ll feel like no time has passed at all.” My dad doesn’t know how wrong he is about that.

“You don’t know that. You were cursed, so that’s why you feel like no time has passed. I’ll miss and worry about her every single second.”  I snap, but I regret it a second later. I’m not usually this bitchy but having to leave Hope behind makes me anxious. “I’m sorry. I know you’ll treat her like she’s your own kid and you’ll be great to her. I just don’t like saying goodbye to her – or to anyone in that matter. I’m not good at goodbyes.” even though I should be pro at it for every single time I had to watch Killian die…

My dad puts his hand on my shoulder then in understanding as my mom begins to slowly pull Hope back into her arms. When she has my baby completely in her arms, I give her one last kiss before walking out the door.

As I walk through the door though, I turn around, thinking that one more tearful goodbye kiss can’t hurt. I see that as soon as I’m back in the main room, my parents begin to complain, but I put my hand up.

“Don’t worry. I just need to give her one last kiss. Then I’ll be out the door to search for Emma.” I do as I said and this time I actually mean it. My heart might feel like it shatters into a million pieces, but I tell myself that I can do it. I’ve literally been through hell after all without a single scratch.


	11. Chapter 10

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

 

I leave the sheriff station, foolishly hoping that Emma is still right in front of it, but of course that was just wishful thinking. When have I become such an optimist anyway? It must have been sometime between Storybrooke suddenly becoming a peaceful place, my wedding and my baby’s birth.

Now I have to find Emma though, so there’s no time to be sentimental or to think back to happy moments. I have to think of where I would’ve gone in the past, when I didn’t want anyone to find me. I walk around a little and soon realize, that my car isn’t in its usual spot. Oh crap. That just made my search far more complicated. If she has a car, she could literally be anywhere by now. I’m sure seeing my future self back then, would’ve send me running back to Boston. I did try it quite often. But I never left town because whenever I reached the town line, I thought of Henry’s face once he realized I was gone for good. It always broke my heart into a million pieces and made me turn back around to head home to him. Let’s just hope I haven’t messed up the past enough to really send Emma running, I think, while starting the car and driving towards the town line in the kind of stolen sheriff car. It’s not mine here after all, even though it kind of is. Time-travel is so damn confusing. I already hate it after only experiencing it twice. Why does it seem so glamorous and fun in movies anyway? That’s a straight up lie.

And the worst thing is that I’m alone with a baby this time. She is no real help to me since she can’t tell me, when I’m making a mistake or when I’m just purely stupid. Killian mostly tried to stop me from doing either of those things during our time-travel adventure. I didn’t realize back then just how grateful I was that he jumped after me through the time portal. I know he always claims to have fallen through it too, when he tried to pull me out of the portal. But I know that’s not exactly the truth. I don’t even need my superpower to tell me that. I fell through the portal, he jumped because he was afraid to lose me again. The missing year messed him up pretty much, even though he pretends to have had a great year. I know he was miserable though. He missed me and I’m sure he held his promise to me by thinking of me every single day we were apart.

Deep down I also thought of him, too. I might not have had my memories, but our connection is so strong, that not even a curse can completely erase it. So, I might not have thought directly about Killian, but I remember having dreams about someone who was just like Killian – by the looks and also the personality. Whenever I woke up from these dreams, I felt lost and lonely – like my whole life was a huge lie. I always wished that Walsh was more like the man in my dreams, more like Killian. But I never let myself admit that –  not until my memories and Killian returned anyway. My walls were still so high back then and I knew, that being with Walsh couldn’t hurt me. I felt safe because I never really loved him. Sure, I was content with him and I did consider his proposal, but he never truly broke down any of my walls, nor did he ever win my heart. It’s like Henry said that one time we were in New York – I was a miserable person during the missing year, pretending to be a happy one. The only thing that made me happy was Henry, but we both were aware that there was something missing – our family.

Now I might need to show Emma that this town is her home and the people in it her family. She’ll learn to trust and love them all eventually. Unless we’re not alike at all and I’m in some weird alternate universe like that time we were all in the storybook.

When I reach the town line, I see the yellow bug standing exactly in front of the town line. If it moves just one inch forward, the bug will only partly be in Storybrooke. This is good though. Emma seems to be hesitating to leave, which means she won’t leave. I’ve gotten to this point so often after all. She’ll stay, otherwise she would already be gone.

I quickly park the sheriff car at the side of the road, get out of the car, walk to Emma and get into the passenger seat of the bug. At first she seems to ignore me, but then she turns to me. “What do you want here?” she sounds annoyed, but her eyes betray her. She’s still that broken lost girl, who didn’t think she mattered and never thought she would. I can tell, that deep down she’s grateful I’m here – that I didn’t just abandon her, when I realized how messed up she is.

I put my hand on her shoulder and smile at her. “I know how overwhelming all of this seems, but don’t worry. Everything is going to be alright.”

“Get out of my car. Unless you want to go to Boston with me.” She still tries to sound cold and bitter, but I won’t give up that easily. I know what she needs, and I don’t intend to abandon her. She needs to know that she can trust me and her trust doesn’t come as easily as it does for others because of our tragic childhood. She doesn’t just give it away easily, so I have to earn it. It might not be easy, but it will be worth it in the end. I know I have to take her memories away later on to preserve the time line, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help her now. She deserves to be happy – even if it’s just for a few days.

“You’re not going to Boston. I know that it seems like you want to go there right now, but you’d regret it as soon as you drive into the city – probably earlier. Why else are you still standing here? In front of the town line, but never passing it?”

“That’s none of your business. Now leave, so that I can finally head to Boston. I had a nice life there. I miss living there and being a bail bonds woman.”

I sigh. I never realized just how stubborn I am – it’s really infuriating. Everyone keeps telling me, but I always deny it. Just now I see how right everyone is. But I can fully blame my parents for it since I inherited stubbornness from them. It runs through our family after all. I also gave it to Henry, I think, even though it hasn’t progressed as much as it has with every other Charming family member. But it will – sooner or later.

“You don’t really miss the city, Emma. You’re just scared. Back there, in Boston, no one cared about you and you didn’t care for anyone in return. There was no risk of getting hurt since that requires you to have trust in someone first. But you’re not alone anymore. You have Henry, whom you love more than anyone else. You’d never leave him, which is why I know you won’t go back to Boston. You know how much it would hurt him, if you abandoned him.”

“I tossed him away before. What makes you think, I won’t do it again?” There’s the slightest break in her voice. Even though her walls are miles high, she doesn’t believe her statement herself. She’s hurting alone at the thought of leaving Henry. I knew it.

“You gave him up for adoption because you had no other choice. You wanted him to have his best possible life and it wasn’t with you at the time. But now, that he’s found you, you won’t let him go so easily. You’d even hesitate if he asked you to leave. Deep down you know, that you can’t live your life without Henry - not anymore. He’s got your unconditional love. You still close of your heart to anyone, who wants to get close to you –but not Henry. You’d never push him away because it wouldn’t just make you miserable, it’d make him miserable, too. And his happiness is your highest priority.”


	12. Chapter 11

\--- PAST EMMA’S POV ---

 

As my past self talks about how I would never ever abandon Henry again, I realize how much she must know me. That just proves, that she can’t be me besides the obvious things like the baby on her arm earlier. I mostly don’t really know myself too well. This woman only claims to be me – that must be the case. I mean who could honestly believe in time-travel. It’s weird enough that magic exists. She is probably some delusion witch, who pretends to be me out of spite or boredom. She’s probably stalked me ever since I got here to Storybrooke in order to get to know me. She must be very good at that, too, since I always thought, I don’t let anyone see who I really am. Except maybe Henry at times – he wouldn’t do this though. He’s a great kid. He doesn’t really count here anyway. It’s different with him. He’s my son and I love him a lot, so I know that he’s trustworthy. He’d never break my heart on purpose since he loves me, too. Otherwise he wouldn’t have been so insistent on keeping me here in Storybrooke with him. He would have supported my decision to go back to Boston. He wouldn’t have eaten the apple turnover and he wouldn’t have almost died. It kind of seems like he’s better off without me.

 

“Oh no. Not that face. Please don’t shut me out again. Don’t build up your walls even higher than they already are. I could tell that you were beginning to kind of trust me.” The crazy person begins putting her hand on my shoulder again. But I pull away and get out of the car.

“Why would I trust you? You’re obviously insane. Just leave me alone and stop claiming to be me. I know myself that none of the things you said could possibly be true. You’re a delusional liar.”

 

I start walking towards the town line, but just when I’m about to cross it, the imposter pulls me back. She must have gotten out of the car and followed me without my knowledge. That does support my crazy stalker theory. She does have good stalking skills.

 

“Emma, stop please. Don’t cross the town line. You don’t even know, if you can cross it and come back. What if you turn into a tree once you leave Storybrooke?”

 

I scoff and roll my eyes at her. Am I really supposed to buy that story? I was always the one person who could leave the town no matter what. Why should that change suddenly?

 

“Leave me alone.”

 

She opens and closes her mouth for a few times. She stares at me as if I’m the most stubborn person in the world, which just proves that she doesn’t know me. I’m not stubborn, I just know what I want right now and there’s no way I’ll change my mind. That would require me to believe her stupid story and I won’t do that. Not even in a million years or if someone would give me billions of dollars for it – for that amount I might pretend to trust her for a few minutes, but that’s all.

 

The fake me approaches me again and this time puts both her hands on both of my shoulders. “I know all of this scares the holy crap out of you, but that doesn’t make it a lie. I really am you – from the future. I’m not lying to you. I admit, that time travel is hard to swallow, but I’m just trying to help you now. You might be used to doing things on your own and having no one to depend on, but that doesn’t need to be your life anymore. Many people in this town care a lot about you and you don’t need to shut them out all the time.”

 

When will she shut up? I swear if she continues that way, I might just start to believe her. I can’t do that. It would mean I’m just as insane as she is.

 

“I don’t need any of the people here. I do better on my own.”

 

“You’re mistaking happiness for content. You really should let some people in – like you did with Henry. You don’t regret that, do you? Because facing all your fears was worth it. Love is a part of all happiness and you have to be open to that. Otherwise you might never know what it’s like to be truly happy. I know my arrival with my baby“ I cringe at the mention of her daughter. I’m not the least bit ready to have another child – especially since I don’t really want one. There was too much physical pain as well as emotional pain involved. My pregnancy with Henry pretty much messed me up – thanks to that asshole ex of mine. I’d worry far too much all the time, if I were to ever get pregnant again. “freaked you out, but I promise you: The future is nothing to be afraid of.” She smiles at me – or maybe at a memory, I can’t really tell – and runs her hands down my arms to take my hands in hers. “I’m probably not supposed to tell you this since the timeline is already in grave danger, but your future isn’t looking too bad. All you have to do in order to have a nice future is trust me right now.” 

 

I wish I could believe her. I honestly do since she seems to believe in me, which is a first. But I don’t know how to trust. I’m far too messed up by my childhood. All my life people have been letting me down starting only a few minutes after I was born. There’s no logical reason for that to ever change.

 

“How does trusting you ensure my future anyway?”

 

“I doubt that the future will be the same, if I stay here. I need you to help me get back home and to cast a forgetting spell over the whole town, while I’m leaving. Sure, we could work together without trusting each other, but it would be far harder.”

 

I don’t even have magic – not really anyway. The only magical thing I have is the protection spell over my heart. For all I know Gold could’ve cast that to ensure I don’t die before breaking Regina’s precious curse. They did seem to have worked on it together after all – at least according to Mary Margret and David. Who knows how often they lie to me. It’s not like people tend to be honest to me. But I don’t think they would this up. They’d have no reason to. Not one that makes sense anyway.

 

“What makes you think I can help you?”

She tilts her head and sighs. This must be harder for her than she expected. I wonder why she still sticks around though. Most people would’ve given up on me by now. Or not even bothered at all. Maybe that’s a sign to trust her. She does act like she cares after all, so why would she go through all this effort just to hurt me. She might do that if we were enemies, but I don’t even know her, so I doubt that she’s got an ulterior motive.

“I know you don’t like to hear it, but you’re the product of true love. You have magic – very powerful light magic. The time portal that took me here was created by my daughter, who is the product of true love in second generation. So, I believe that together we might just be strong enough to recreate that portal.”

 

Wait? Second generation…does that mean her daughter is a product of true love, too? That can’t be true. I’m a loner. There’s no way I’ll ever fall in love – much less true love. But oh well, I’ll just roll with the story for now because that future me seems to be very nice and genuine about her offer. I don’t want to cause her any unnecessary pain. Her plan probably won’t work anyway. So, I can teach her the truth without hurting her feelings directly. She’ll realize that all of this isn’t true and then I can go back to my old – but still crazy – life.

 

 

———————————

 

 

_I’m currently on a family vacation for the next three weeks, so I don’t know when I’ll be able to update. So the next few chapters could take a while. Sorry._


	13. Chapter 12

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

 

“Okay, okay. I’ll help you.” My past self says. I sigh out in relief and breathe out a deep breath I wasn’t aware of holding in. It seems like I’ve made the impossible possible. I’ve convinced Emma that everything will be fine, and she promised to help me find my way back home. My inner lie detector didn’t notice anything weird about Emma’s answer, so she must tell the truth. If she isn’t, I’m prepared for it since I still expect her to have her doubts. Anyone would have some in this situation – especially people, who grew up in a world, where magic isn’t real and people who believe in it are considered crazy, insane and stupid.

 

“Thank you so much. You have no idea how much that means to me.” I say to her and she gives me a small smile in return. I can tell it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. So, I was right. She’s still a little freaked out, but that’s fine. Baby steps.

“No problem. I’m supposed to be a…savior, so I guess helping others is kind of my job.” I remember my own difficulties with the ‘savior’ part and voicing it out loud. It would’ve been easier, if I knew back then, that there were other saviors – that I wasn’t alone in this. But I can’t tell my past self that. From now on I should only let her know things that are absolutely necessary. I already said too much about the future.

 

“It’s a hard job, but it’s worth it. Believe me.” I pat her shoulder to give her hope. Speaking of hope, I really miss my baby. I need to get back to her as soon as possible. What if she misses me? What if she is sad? Or what if my parents have no clue what to do with her? They don’t have their second child and aren’t even planning to have it yet. The only thing they had to do for me was put me in a wardrobe. They might have no idea what to do with a baby. My mom did read an awful lot of baby and pregnancy books during her pregnancy with my little brother – what if that is because she can’t handle kids, that aren’t at school age yet?

 

Oh god. I really have to stop thinking about everything that could go wrong and rather focus on getting back to my baby girl. She needs me after all – at least that’s how it feels to me right now. I swear I can hear her crying in the back of my mind and the sound drives me crazy with worry. I need to get to her. Right now.

 

“I should really go back to the station now. I left Hope with your parents and I really miss her. I need to make sure that she’s fine. Do you want to come with me?”

 

My past self flinches at the name. Haven’t I mentioned it before? Anyway, it’s probably not a name I would’ve given her, if I had her during this time period. I was still a lost girl, who didn’t think she mattered and never had enough hope for that to change. I was a really hopeless person – a pessimist – I realize.

 

After a moment, Emma nods and approaches her yellow bug.

 

“I’ll drive you. I have to get back to work anyway.” She signals for me to get into the car. I look from her to the sheriff station car, that brought me here earlier, with a questionable look.

 

“What about the other car?” I ask curiously. Maybe Emma has forgotten about it. That doesn’t sound like me, but still. What other explanation could there be?

 

She looks over to the car now and shrugs. “I’ll just tell one of the dwarves to bring it back later on. They can make themselves useful for once, instead of sitting around and making experiments at the town line or annoying me all day.” Huh. That’s a good idea actually. Leroy has a tendency to interrupt Killian and I all the time – at a rate, that makes it a real surprise that we have a kid. I should try Emma’s idea once I’m home. I’ll get my parents or Henry to babysit Hope and I’ll give Leroy some chores at the station. Then me and my husband can finally have some uninterrupted pancakes. It’s been too long – at least I think so.

 

I get into the bug and Emma starts the car, heading back into town to the sheriff station.

 

...

 

Once the car stops in front of it, I jump out quickly. I don’t wait for Emma as I literally barge into the main room of the station. I hear Hope loud cries long before I see her. Once she does come into focus, I see my mother and fathers frustrated faces. They seem to be very happy about my arrival.

 

“Oh, Emma, we’re so glad you’re back. Hope started crying ten minutes ago and we’ve tried everything to stop her, but nothing works. We have no idea what’s wrong.” My mother says so fast, that I doubt she breathes in between. She quickly puts Hope back into my arms and I start to rock her. She doesn’t stop crying though. I hear a faint sound in the background of the door closing. My past self must be back. Out of the corner of my eyes, I see her waving at her parents and sitting down at her desk.

 

“Hope, my sweet little baby. Please calm down. Everything is fine. Mommy is back to protect you from any possible dangers. I missed you so much my little bean.” I sometimes call her bean because to me she is as valuable as a magic bean. Mine and Killian’s story started on the beanstalk, so it’s only fitting that that story lives on through our daughter.

 

I pull her closer to me and put little kisses all over her face, but nothing works. Time to interrogate my parents. They must have forgotten something, right? Or am I that terrible of a mother, that I just don’t know what my daughter needs?

 

“Did you check if she was hungry?” They nod. I list some more things like diaper change, odd temperature, missing her octopus plushie, if she wants her pacifier and things like that. But it’s all things that my parents tried already. I never should’ve doubted them. In a little over a year or so, they’ll do great with my little brother – whom I miss a lot – after all. I haven’t seen him since the coronation since he doesn’t visit much at the moment. He’s often busy with school work. He still has this drive to finish every single homework perfectly. It’ll pass soon enough, unless my mother has something to do with it since she’s a teacher.

 

I haven’t been to my parents place in while either since they usually visit us. Except for my almost daily visits at the sheriff station around lunch time. Then it hits me like a block of concrete. I glance at the clock on my dad’s desk. Noon. I feel like punching myself in the face. How could I have been so dumb? This is the time Hope usually gets to see her dad. That must be why she’s crying. She is used to our daily routine and now she misses him.

 

“Emma, what is it?” My dad asks worriedly. My sudden spark of ideas must look like something bad on my face. Or my expression is unreadable and that’s why he worries.

 

“I’m okay. I figured out why Hope is crying. She usually gets to see her dad at this time of day, when I pay you guys a visit at the station. She must miss him and that’s why she’s freaking out. She’s a little person who is obsessed with routine. I’m sorry I was so quick to blame you. You took good care of her. This isn’t your fault at all.” I smile sadly at them, feeling guilty as hell, which is normal for me, I think. I always tend to feel guilt very quickly even if it’s not my fault like that time I brought Marian back to life. Regina didn’t deserve to blame me then. I saved a life. Or so I thought. She was once again the villain in that little story – since she intended to execute both me and Maid Marian – playing the victim like she usually does.

 

My parents approach me, and each put a hand on both of my shoulders. “It’s okay, Emma.” My mother says. “You were concerned about your daughter. It’s certainly a feeling I get.” My father says. I smile brighter at them as a sign for accepting their forgiveness. I probably acted out on my worry and the hormones, that still drive me crazy. Shouldn’t they have passed by now? I can’t remember being this hormonal after I had Henry, but then I didn’t keep him, so that could be the cause for them vanishing earlier. Who knows?

 

“So, Hope must love her dad a lot.” My mom says, trying to get information out of me once again. But this isn’t a too spoilerish question, is it? I think it’s safe to answer it.

 

“She does. And the feeling is quite mutual.”

My mom smiles at that and I see her glancing at my past self for a moment. Emma is pretending to focus on her paper work and tries not to listen to us, but I know she does. I know because there’s a slight sign of fear written all over her face. I explained to her the future looks bright, but deep down she still has trouble believing in it. Maybe Hope can help with that.

 

I walk over to my desk and smile at Emma. “Hi. I think I can calm her down by letting her listen to her dad’s voice. I need to search some recordings he made for her during my pregnancy. Can you hold her for a moment?” He made these recordings as a present for her 18th birthday. He got the idea from a tv show. And I also sometimes recorded him singing lullabies to my belly.

 

“I don’t know a single thing about babies?” Funny. That’s exactly what Hook said. We really do understand each other because we are the same way. We’re so connected. That must be why our relationship works so well – because deep down we make the same decisions and all that. That’s why we rarely fight and even if we do it’s about silly stuff like whether of not we should buy Hope another onesie at the store. If it was for Killian, we’d buy every single one for her. It’s not helping that Henry showed him how to look them up on the internet. Now he constantly orders cute ones there too. I was quite shocked when I noticed the first time since I never expected the fearful Captain Hook to be obsessed with baby clothes. It’s adorable as hell. Just the thought of it makes me want to have another thousand kids with him – just so I can witness this habit for all eternity.

 

“You don’t need to know anything. Just hold her and make sure to support her head.” I give her no forewarning as I place the still crying Hope in her arms. She fits perfectly in them – no surprise there. Emma seems to struggle, but I pat her shoulder for reassurance. She seems to relax a little. “See, this isn’t so bad, right?” I smile once more at her and my baby and then I search for my phone in Hope’s diaper bag.

 

 

 

 

 

 

....

 

 

I’ll be back home from vacation in a week and then the updates should return to a four or five day schedule.


	14. Chapter 13

**\--- PAST EMMA’S POV ---**

Emma leaves me alone with the baby – my baby if we’re being specific. I’m tense as hell and for a moment I just sit there with the crying baby in my arms – not daring to move for a second or even breathe properly. I refuse to look at her. I try my best not to start crying. I even begin to sweat a little. I swear I’m going to have a panic attack every second now. You could say I’m terrified of this little baby, which sounds ridiculous but it’s true. I might not be afraid of the baby itself, but about having her in my arms and about how perfectly she fits into them. I have no idea how to hold a baby though, so it doesn’t matter if she fits well into my arms or not. I feel like if I move for just a second I’ll accidently drop the little one and she’ll get hurt badly.

Also, I’m scared, that if I hold her tightly in my arms and look at her, I’ll somehow bond with her. That’s the reason I never held Henry after he was born. I never wanted to risk loving him then – not more than I already did anyway. And it’s the same with little Hope right now. I swore to myself that I’ll never fall in love again – my keychain necklace being a daily reminder of that. But I obviously will love someone in the future – Hope’s dad – and somehow, I still want to change that. Emma did take some of my fears for the future away, but not all of them. Not even closely. I still don’t want to ever fall in love again because love only causes pain in the end since everyone leaves you at some point.

So, I don’t look at Hope now, because I know that I’d instantly love her – she is my daughter after all. I already love her too much now. I felt that when I learned of her existence. I ran away, but that wasn’t so much because I hated the thought of her. I did think that at the time, but deep down I never despised her. I always loved her just like I always loved Henry. Before he brought me to Storybrooke there wasn’t a single day I didn’t think of him – wondering whether he was okay, whether I should’ve rather made the selfish decision, whether I’d ever get to meet him, whether he’d forgive me in that case. The list could go on forever, but the only thing that matters is that I always loved Henry – every single day we were apart. And now I’m scared the same thing will happen with Hope. She will leave me once Emma figures out how to get back home. I might be able to see her again in a few years or so – Emma doesn’t look much older than me – but who knows how long I’ll have to wait for Hope? Sometimes people don’t really age. It’ll be like my life between the day Henry was born and coming to Storybrooke all over again. I’ll be miserable without ever admitting it to myself until the day I’ll see her again. I’ll constantly worry, and I’ll constantly miss her.

Or will I? Emma also plans to enact a forgetting spell or something like that to preserve the time line. So, I won’t actually remember meeting my future daughter, will I?

I can hang out with her now and get to know her without feeling nothing but heartache once she leaves. That’s pretty cool. It also means, I can look at her. I haven’t really done that yet.

I drop my head and look at my baby’s face for the first time. I’m overwhelmed by it and feel tears burning in my eyes. I won’t let them stream down my face, but they’re blinding my vision. She’s so beautiful. And her sad eyes right now, which are red and puffy from all the crying, make me incredibly sad. I wish there was something I could do to make her happy again. But the other me is working on that right now, so I should just enjoy my time with Hope for as long as it lasts.

I softly stroke her head, while I continue to look down at her in awe. I smile softly at her. She looks at me with her bright blue eyes, while she keeps crying. But I almost don’t notice the crying anymore because I’m a hundred percent focused on her. I’ve kind of drowned out all sounds. The station and everyone else there fade completely from view.

She’s an adorable baby, even though she has been in a bad mood for as long as I entered the station and have been present here. It probably started before that, so it could’ve gone on for hours. I don’t mind it though because I’m far too distracted by her cuteness now that I look at her. She has some blonde hairs on top of her head and is wearing a little bow around the head. She’s also got my cheekbones, which I got from my mother. It must be a very strong gene. As I said before she is quite beautiful and so are her clothes. She’s wearing a pink onesie with little purple anchors on it.

Her most striking feature are her eyes though. All the tears probably make them seem even brighter, but there’s no doubt that she has the prettiest eye color. The eyes somehow feel very familiar to me, but I can’t quite place them. It’s a very notable color, so I would probably remember seeing it in Storybrooke. That doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a person I stare at regularly – not that I ever check out anyone. I pretty much find everyone in this town annoying as hell – except for my son and parents and maybe Granny and Ruby. For all I care everyone else can go back to where they come from: The Enchanted Forest. Especially the dwarves and Regina. She’s working with Cora again, so her so called redemption can’t be real. That makes her a danger to Henry since he’ll always trust her. No matter what she does. She is his mother after all – even if it’s not by blood. I don’t think she would really hurt him directly, but she’d hurt everyone else, which would also cause Henry pain. He’s a sweet and caring boy. He loves almost everyone in this town. It’s one of the qualities I love about him.

And judging by the reason Hope is crying, it’ll be something I’ll love about her, too. She is crying after all because she misses her daddy. He seems like a great person, which in addition to Hope makes me fear the future a little less.

Speaking of Hope’s dad, did Emma find the recordings yet? I look up and search the room for her. She is kneeing next to the diaper bag and looks at her phone. So, I suppose she didn’t. But it won’t be long now.

I lift Hope up and hug her, while rocking her softly.  I whisper into her ear in an attempt to soother her a little. “It’ll be okay soon, Hope. Your mommy is going to get your daddy here in no time.” In a way at least, but maybe this will work for the time being. The baby does calm down a little at the sound of my voice and the mention of her father, but she still cries. I feel bad for her. I do know what it’s like to miss someone you love. I’ve done it with Henry for ten years.

I decide then, that I should go to the store later to buy a little plushie for the baby. It might take her mind off missing her home and the rest of her family. And then tomorrow I’ll do everything in my power to help Emma find a way home for them. Ten years ago, I had to give Henry away despite the pain it caused me. I had to give him his best chance. Now I have to do the same for Hope. She’ll be happier in her own time line, so I have to put my own happiness aside for a moment and do what’s best for my child. I swear I’ll get her home no matter how hard it’ll be – even if it’s the last thing I do.


	15. Chapter 14

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

I purposefully take extra long to find the recordings on my phone. I know exactly where they are, so it normally would’ve taken me only a few seconds to find them. But then I saw that my past self seems to get accustomed with Hope, so I thought it’s a good thing to let them bond a little. I feel like this might help her magic later on, when we’re going to take the memories of everyone in town and open the portal back home. Magic is all about emotion after all, so the more Emma cares about Hope, the more determined she’ll be to help her – and the easier it’ll be for her to access her light magic.

I use the time I’ve got to change my lock- and homescreen to an old picture of Henry and me. Before that I had a sweet and adorable picture of Killian holding Hope a few minutes after she was born. He’s smiling at the sleeping baby in awe. I love it, but I can’t risk anyone else seeing it in the past, so unfortunately it has to go. For now, at least. It’ll probably be back as soon as I’m in timeline again.

After that I type random stuff on the screen, which is actually shut off, but Emma doesn’t know that. I only do it, so she thinks that I’m still searching. Once her not so subtle glances my way become more frequent, I decide to approach the two of them.

“Found them.” I say, while lifting my phone in the air. Then I put my phone in my jeans back pocket and open my arms. Emma gets up and starts to put Hope back into my loving arms. As soon as I have my daughter back, I give her a soft kiss on the head. “Missed you, sweetie. Now we’ll go to the bathroom and call your daddy.” I lie. She might understand me otherwise even though it’s very unlikely. But who knows? Maybe she is just that smart already through her magical powers. In that case I have to fool her into thinking, that we’re actually talking to him in real time.

“You’re not listening to them here?” my mother says from behind me in a curious and disappointed voice. I’ll have to make sure to put a soundproofing spell on the room. I can’t risk everyone else listening in on the recordings since then they’d figure out that Killian and I are married and have a child. I’m not putting my future in any more danger than necessary. I just love it too much to take such a risk. I love Killian and Hope too much for that. I can’t lose them. Not never. They’re the only thing to keep me going since Henry left me and the town behind. Some days I miss him so much, that I just want to crawl up in bed all day and cry. But having Killian and Hope makes it easier. It kind of gives me new strength every day - whenever I feel like I have none left. They kind of give my life purpose, even though that probably sounds silly.

So, to protect my future and my little family, I have to go now. “Yes. They’re kind of private.” I lie. But no one notices, or they just don’t say anything about it. My mother frowns, while my dad flinches at the word ‘private.’ I almost chuckle at that. He probably assumes, that the recordings are some kind of sex tape in audio format. As if I would let my newborn listen to that.

I smile and then walk to the bathroom. I lock the door behind us and then use a spell I’ve used often enough already to protect Henry from getting traumatized by Killian and me. I’m sure he appreciates it. Now I can also officially say, that it’s a great thing I’ve had to use this spell so often before. It was all practice, so now I can be sure I’m doing it right.

Once I finish the spell, I put Hope on the changing table. I’ve never been sure why exactly there is one here at the sheriff station, but now I’m grateful to have it. I pull my phone out and start the first recording. It’s of the day I told Killian, that I’m pregnant. Hope seems to instantly relax a little and just a half a minute into the recording, the crying stops completely, her smile reappears, and she falls back asleep.

 

…

 

_Flashback_

_9 months ago_

_I leave early from work because I’ve been feeling down a little in the morning. So, I decided to take a pregnancy test in the privacy of my own bathroom. Killian and I have been trying for a few weeks now, so it might be possible. We’ve had a few negative tests before, which might be because we literally took one every few mornings. You could say that we’re a little excited. But because of the negative tests before I thought, that it might be better to take it alone this time. I don’t want to get Killian’s hopes up once again, only to shatter them three minutes later. That’s why I told him, that I’m going to visit my mom during her lunch break since there’s not much sheriffing going on anyway. Storybrooke has been pretty peaceful since the final battle besides the usual small town conflicts. I’m hoping that it stays that way._

_So, here I am in the bathroom, waiting for what feels like an eternity. I sit on the edge of the tub and the test is lying next to me on a counter. I shake one of my legs nervously. When the timer on my phone goes off and I grab the test, I realize that my hands are shaking too. Maybe I should’ve done this with Killian after all. The times before I was also nervous, but not this much. His presence somehow calmed me. Or it was the fact that he kept whispering that everything will work out just fine – that I just need to give it time. I wish he was here right now, but it’s probably better to do this on my own, I think before looking down at the test in my hands._

_I jump up from the bath tub and almost drop the test in the process. Happy tears begin to stream down my face as if my face were the Niagara Falls. I also start laughing out of pure happiness. Then I run down the stairs and grab my red leather jacket from the couch. I have to go tell Killian right now. It can’t wait. I’m far too excited to not share that excitement with anyone. And I know he’ll be just as pleased. He’d want to know right away. But as I’m about to open the door, it opens up on its own. A second later Killian walks into the house._

_He smiles when he sees me, but then looks questionably at my jacket. “Are you going somewhere?” He’s obviously disappointed about that possibility. I’m sure he only came home early to spend some quality time with me. Otherwise he’d still hang out at the station with his best friend – my dad. Sometimes I even fear that he loves David more than he loves me. That’s ridiculous though, but you can’t deny that his love for either of us is pretty much equal. I’m not way ahead – only a teensy tiny bit._

_“I was just going to the station to talk to you.” I peck his lips and put my arms around his neck._

_That’s obviously when he notices the tears on my face. He softly wipes them away with his thumbs and looks me deeply into the eyes. As I return his gaze, I swear I could drown in his blue orbs. “Are you okay, Swan? What did you want to talk about? Did something happen, when you visited your mom?” His voice is ridden with worry and I almost feel bad for him, but I know I’ll be able to cheer him up in a second anyway, so it really doesn’t matter._

_“I didn’t visit my mom.” I say quietly, not telling him anything about the test just yet. I smile at him._

_“Then where did you go? Is everything alright, Swan?”_

_“Haven’t you heard? It’s Jones – for quite some time actually.” I tease him, but I can see that he doesn’t appreciate it right now. He must be really worried then. He usually enjoys out banter just as much as I do – hell most of the time he actually is the one to start it. “I lied about wanting to visit my mom because I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”_

_“My hopes up? About wh-“ He’s genuinely confused, so I cut him off and just blurt out my news to him._

_“I’m pregnant.”_

_For a moment nothing happens, but then Killian’s face lights up like fireworks at midnight on new years day. He lifts me off the ground and spins me around happily, while we both laugh and cry. I haven’t even realized, that he carried me to the living room, until he stumbles, and we land on the couch with a thud. This makes us laugh even more, so much that it hurts._

_Killian then leans his mouth down to meet mine and we make out like a pair of horny teenagers. When he pulls away, we sit up on the couch and Killian pulls up my shirt to expose my belly. He gets up from the couch and knees in front of it. He kisses my belly multiple times and I run my hands through his incredibly soft hair._

_“I love you so much, little love.” Killian says to my belly, before giving it one last kiss and sitting down next to me again. He puts his arms tightly around me and I lie my head on his shoulder. I have no idea how long we sit there in peace and silence, thinking about our baby. Killian occasionally puts little kisses on my head. But eventually he begins to speak again._

_“You know, we should make little recordings for our little one. Like Henry did for Violet that time we went to Hawaii with him. It could be a birthday present one day.” He says in excitement and I must admit that it’s a pretty great idea. I nod and then go to find my jacket, which lies on the floor in the middle of the room. I must have dropped it when Killian spun me around. I get my phone out of the pocket and go back to Killian. Then I open the voice memo app. “Let’s do this.” I start the recording._

_Killian smiles and gets up again, so that he can talk to my belly._

_“You do know, that the phone will also record it for our baby, when you don’t directly speak to the little one, do you?” I say jokingly. Deep down I enjoy it a lot, when he talks to my belly. It’s the most adorable thing to watch._

_“Sure I know that.” He answers, while scratching his ear. I’m not so sure if that’s the truth but anyway. “But this way, she gets to hear it twice.”_

_“She? You don’t even know, if it’s a girl. We just found out about my pregnancy, so there’s no way of knowing.”_

_He shrugs. “Believe me. It is a girl. I just have a feeling it’s going to be one. And that would work so perfectly, right? Then we’d have one of each.”_

_I smile at that. I love how much Killian includes Henry all the time. He treats him like he’s his own. Maybe we should make it official one day by Killian adopting Henry._

_I mean there are already people, who think that Henry is indeed our son. Killian’s brother Liam for instance. Every time he visited us in the past years, he always just assumed that and neither Killian, Henry nor me ever corrected him. Killian is a great dad to Henry even though it’s not by blood. Besides my dad, he’s kind of the only real father figure Henry ever had since Neal died so early, which I don’t even mind that much. Sure, Henry did deserve to know his birth father – it’s the only reason I ever let Neal anywhere near my boy. But I’m not so sure whether Neal ever really deserved to know his son. He’s not a good person after all._

_“Hello, little lass.” Killian starts speaking. “We just found out about you. This is the start of a new story. Sure it is also an ending, but I’ve learned to think of happy endings being more like happy beginnings. It’s kind of the family motto, which you’ll learn soon enough. Me and your mom love you a lot and we can’t wait to meet you.”_

_End of flashblack_

_…_

When the first recording is finished I smile fondly at the memories and put my phone back in my back jeans pocket. I quietly pick up my sleeping baby and hug her to my chest. Then I leave the bathroom.

My parents instantly turn to the baby and smile at her. I notice that my mom put on her jacket again. She quietly speaks to me, trying not wake the baby again. “We should get you settled into the loft now. Then we can start preparing dinner.”

I nod at her. She picks up Hope’s diaper bag and we leave the station.


	16. Chapter 15

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

As me and the past version of my mom walk towards the loft, I constantly fear that she’ll more questions that I shouldn’t answer. But thankfully she doesn’t. That’s a great thing since I’m always so eager to answer them in order to reassure everyone that everything will be okay. Sometimes I fool myself into thinking that it wouldn’t matter since I plan to erase everyone’s memories, but I can’t do that. I might be able to control my magic by now. That doesn’t mean though, that I am an expert on spells and potions and those kinds of things. Who knows if the memories will be the only things affecting my time line? I just have to be cautious for now – until I find out more about time travel.

I plan to go to the library tomorrow. Maybe Belle has a book there on it – and if she doesn’t, it won’t be a waste of time either since it’ll be great to see her again. She’s missed dearly. It’s moments like these when I wish Killian was here with me even more than I already do. Belle was like his best friend and I’m sure he’d be delighted to get a chance to see her once more. Her death was so unnecessary. I never even understood Gold’s logic. He obviously is insane and twisted enough to believe that moving to a realm with a faster timeline with your mortal wife, when you’re immortal is something that makes sense. Who knows? Or he’s just that cruel to everyone – including the people he claims to love.

That’s also the moment I realize, that all this excitement about seeing Belle again was for nothing. I can’t visit her – well I could, but she won’t know who I am since she currently has Lacey’s memories and she’s in the hospital. Too bad. I was so happy. Why am I nowadays constantly such an optimist, when the world usually just disappoints you? Maybe it’s because I’m in a great mood ever since I found out that I was going to have Hope. Or it’s my mother’s fault for constantly surrounding me with a bunch of optimistic thoughts. It’s probably the latter. I don’t want to blame Hope for anything, also my mom’s been a longer influence then my lovely baby – and a more annoying one. Sometimes at least. Other days my mom is pretty great. That’s on the days, that she isn’t acting like she wishes Regina was her daughter instead of me. It’s really sad actually, that sometimes she seems to love her wicked stepmother more than she loves me.

But well, at least that gives me my freedom at times. I know how my mother acts when she cares – I had to live with that since she found out about my pregnancy – and it can be very exhausting. It was the wedding planning all over again. I don’t think I got a single moment to myself for weeks at a time because my mom was obsessing over something new every single week. It all started with planning all my doctor appointments, then she moved on to planning the nursery, the baby shower and so on. And whenever my mom wasn’t hanging out at my house, Killian took me to the store with him to show me a new onesie or plushie he found for our little one. He said he did it to get my opinion, but I know him. He always intended to buy them. But his excitement doesn’t annoy me like my mother’s since I love to see him happy. It automatically makes me happy too.

Thankfully my mom’s excitement has cooled down a little since Hope was born and she’s gone back to her job as a teacher. Either that happened, or my dad told her to give us some space in order for us to be exhausted by Hope’s inconsistent sleep patterns, so he can babysit more often. I wouldn’t put it past him since sometimes he literally begs us to relax, while he takes care of Hope.

 

Soon I realize that my mother is once again in planning mode. I was so lost in my thoughts and worries, that I didn’t even notice we were walking to the store, instead the loft. When we both walk inside, I look at my mom with a confused, questionable look. “What exactly are we doing here, mom?”

“Buying a little travel crib for my granddaughter of course. They don’t have regular cribs here in Storybrooke. At least not any that you don’t have to build up first.” My mom answers with an enthusiastic smile.

If she knows this fact, then she probably planned to have a second child for far longer than I thought. I don’t know how to feel about that since it’s of like she just found me and a week later she realized I wasn’t enough. It sure does bring back some dark thoughts, that I haven’t had in a while about my whole abandonment issues. I really need to get back to Killian. With him, I always feel wanted. It took me a while to accept it since it scared me when we first met, but I somehow always knew, that he wasn’t faking his affections just to get into my pants or as a sort of master plan to hurt me. Deep down I always knew that I can trust him.

And right now, that is something I really miss – a person I can trust a hundred percent. Someone I can talk to about anything and no matter what, they wouldn’t judge me for it. I know my parents wouldn’t judge me about many things, but I still can’t be honest with them about so many things since they’re sort of spoilers. And I also know for a fact that there are things in my life, that the past versions of my parents wouldn’t approve of like me using my magic and my relationship with Killian. In the future they do approve, but a lot has happened since then. And I mean they will agree in a year or so to my plan to take my magic away, which almost got me trapped inside a hat. Thankfully Elsa was there. I don’t even know what would have happened to me otherwise – who knows if I ever would’ve gotten out of the hat. Gold might have succeeded in killing Killian and Gold’s secret would’ve died with him.

I’m glad now that I kept my magic. It’s a great tool to protect my daughter from any harm.

Speaking of my little angel. She’s the only person I can freely talk to right here, but she can’t really understand nor answer me. And there’s the risk of getting overheard by the past versions of Storybrookes population. So, it’s not as good as being back in my time line with my husband either.

So, I am very lonely. I can hardly even remember when I was last this lonely. But it probably changed on one very monumental day. A day that changed my whole life – made it better. The day Henry knocked on my door and therefore came back into my life. He saved me then, but this time he can’t do that. I have to save myself. I have to do it for all the people, that are waiting for me in Storybrooke – even though they won’t even know that I’m gone, unless I’ll never find my way back home, which I refuse to even consider.


	17. Chapter 16

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

After my mom was done with picking a travel crib at the store and chatting at the checkout with Sneezy, we finally walk to the loft. Who knew that my mom could spend hours looking at three different travel cribs, never being able to pick one. I swear that if Hope hadn’t gotten all fuzzy, we’d still be at the store, looking at the same three options.

But thankfully we’re here now. My mom quickly sets up the crib, before walking back downstairs to prepare dinner. I’m staying in Emma’s – well my old room. Mom insisted that Emma will be okay staying with Henry for a while, which I suppose is right.

I sit on the bed with Hope in my arms and start to feed her. During my pregnancy everyone kept telling me how awful breastfeeding is since babies are so complicated about it. Not to mention the pain. But with Hope it’s really no issue. She isn’t being difficult at all and knows well how to feed on her own. I don’t have to like force her to feed or ridiculous stuff like that. She hasn’t bitten me yet either, which I greatly appreciate. I guess she is just smarter than other babies, which I always knew anyway.

I watch my baby as she nurses and smile at her, while running my hand slowly over her head. It’s a habit I’ve become quite obsessed with. Her head is just so incredibly soft. I love it a lot. I love her more than anything though – including her head. Well except my love for Henry and Killian – that’s pretty much equal to my love for Hope.

Once Hope is finished with her meal, I burp her. Then I put her in the middle of the bed to get the travel crib. It’s too far away from my bed for my taste, so I put it right next to the bed instead. Then I sit down next to Hope, intending to tuck her into her new bed, but I get distracted by her once again. She’s lying on her back, while shaking her legs in the air. It’s the most adorable thing. And as far as I know, she hasn’t done it before. I lightly tickle her stomach and it just makes her wiggle her legs faster. Also, that cute smile of hers makes a reappearance.

Without even thinking about it I turn to the side to smile at Killian, which is what I always do when our baby does something adorable. That is until I remember that he isn’t here with me. We’re years apart and it makes me want to bawl my eyes out. For a moment I didn’t think about my current situation: being trapped in the past without a certain way home. Hope sure is a good distraction. My only happiness these days. Well day – it’s only been a day so far even though it feels like a lifetime ago.

I get out my phone and start to record Hope, so that I can show it to Killian once I’m home, but she stops a few seconds later. I tickle her again, but still nothing. I assume, that she either noticed my mood changing from happy to sad and it upset her too or that she’s exhausted from the day. Probably the latter. It’s nap time for her. I put my phone on the nightstand and pick up my little angel. I rock her a little and give her quite some kisses on the head. “Goodnight, my little sunshine. I’ll see you in a few hours after your nap.” I put her into the bed, but she instantly gets more energy once again and starts crying loudly.

I groan and look at the clock. It’s 6pm. She normally does need sleep right about now. So, what’s the problem. Is it the bed?

Then it hits me, she usually gets a bedtime story by Killian after we both tuck her in. Does that mean I have to tell her a story? It would probably be a good idea, even though I’m a terrible story teller. That’s because no one ever told me bedtime stories in my childhood. I spend most of it in group homes and there no one cared about me. The first time I ever felt loved was on my 28th birthday. When henry asked me to stay in Storybrooke with him. Anyway, I’ll have to try telling her a story. I don’t think Hope will accept a recording this time.

I pick her up again and sit down on the bed with her in my arms. I cuddle with her a little, which calms her down pretty quickly. After that I softly begin to tell her the story of how Killian and I met. It’s a story she hears almost daily, but she seems to love it still.

I tell her about how I found him, and we instantly connected on some level. I leave out the part where I threatened to kill him with a dagger to his throat and move on to climbing the beanstalk. How Killian was glad I was the one to climb the beanstalk with him and how he kept trying to get to know me. I tell her about how worried he got because of my hand even though he never admitted it. I tell her that I kept his scarf. I figured out things about  his past without him having to tell me. We always knew deep down, that we were very alike, so we understood each other more than anyone has ever understood me. It scared me a lot, which made my walls climb higher and higher, but even then, Killian tried to break them down. He never directly told me, but I’m sure that he somehow began to fall in love with me that day. Maybe I did, too, but was always too stubborn to admit it. All I know is that when I first kissed him in Neverland, I was trying to make a point to him. I somehow accepted that day, that we might have a future together. For a moment he broke my walls down long enough for me to admit, that there was always something between us. I never would’ve thought of it as love back then, but now I’m not so sure. Maybe I did fall in love with him on the beanstalk – very slowly. I mean I did keep that scarf of his, so deep down he must have meant something to me then without me realizing it. I always fell for him slowly, but when he traded his ship for me everything changed and I fell for him all at once.

I’m not even at the part of the story, where I decided to leave Killian on the beanstalk, when Hope is already fast asleep. I stop talking, but still continue to watch her for a few more minutes as she sleeps in my embrace.

Soon, I kiss her head and put her back into the crib. I quietly leave the room, but not before standing at the top of the stairs for a moment to check whether she’ll be okay. When I eventually descend the stairs, I check for a sign of my mother having overheard the story, but she doesn’t show any. I sigh in relief quietly. This means that she hasn’t heard anything. It’s not like she can keep a secret. She’d be interrogating me about my whole life by now. But she doesn’t.

“Is Hope asleep?” she asks quietly.

I walk to her, into the kitchen, and answer. “Yes. Now can I help you with anything?”

She shakes her head with a smile. “I’m all done. We’re just waiting now for the others.”

And like clockwork, the door opens as soon as she finished the sentence. My dad, my present self and Henry walk into the loft. The first two smile at me, but Henry looks confused. I guess no one warned him about my presence here. He looks between me and Emma with the weirdest look on his face. It’s a surprise, really, I would’ve expected Henry to be the least shocked. He loves magic after all and the story book, which has some crazy stuff in it. He’s read it so often, that nothing should surprise him anymore, but that’s clearly not the case.


	18. Chapter 17

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

Henry continues to stare at me weirdly and it takes all of my inner control to not run up to him and hug him tightly, never letting him go. Sure, it is also bizarre for me to see him so small. I am used to being in the past by now, but it’s still a surprise. My little boy is only 10 again, which makes me really emotional, so I have to be careful not to start crying. My pregnancy hormones still haven’t passed and Whale said that it could take quite a while. I don’t want to shock Henry even more – or worse scare him with my extreme emotions. He isn’t used to me being emotional since my walls were still so high back then, that I ever allowed anyone to see me struggling. I sometimes got vulnerable with Henry, but that was also a rare exception. It only happened when everything got too much.

I look at Henry now and try to memorize every single detail about him. Like I could take a mental picture now and then it would become true in my own timeline. I miss my little boy every single day. He’s so grown up now. I wish he never would’ve left Storybrooke. When he left, he was still a kid – my sweet little boy – but then he came back as an adult with his own kid in tow. Don’t understand me wrong, I do love Lucy a lot – she’s a great granddaughter and I know how happy she makes Henry – but I also selfishly wish that Henry would still be as old as he was when he left. I feel like I am far too young to be a grandma and I also already missed so much of his life in the first ten years, and now I missed another big section of his life. It hurts a lot. Like I said, the only reason I keep going are my baby and my husband. I love my little family, but I just wish it was complete – I wish Henry would still live with us. Nowadays it feels more like he’s a visitor than a part of the family and I hate that.

But I can’t ask him to move back into his childhood room. He has his own life now – his own family – and he’s old enough to make his own decisions. Sometimes loving someone means to letting them go. I don’t want to force him to do something he wouldn’t want. I love him to much to cause him any kind of misery.

All this makes me understand my parents better. I always did in a way because I missed the first ten years of my son’s life, too, but now I understand them even better because I missed even more. My mom’s obsession with my wedding and the baby make much more sense to me now. Sometimes I realize, that I’ve been far too cruel to them for the first few years after we were reunited. I kind of resented them for having to grown up all alone in the system, when they were only trying to get to know me and still feel like they’re a part of life. They meant well, and I saw that as a threat and pushed them away again and again. The person I should’ve blamed instead is Regina for casting the curse in the first place.

“Wait. I don’t understand. Since when does my mom have a twin?” Henry says, while looking between both of his grandparents and Emma. “And how the hell didn’t I know about it? There’s no way grandma can keep a secret. Normally when she knows something no one else knows, it only takes like 10 minutes for the whole town to know it too.” I almost laugh at that statement. I thought the same thing just a few minutes ago. Henry really is my son – not that I ever doubted it. I wouldn’t want to exchange him with any other kid either. Him and Hope are the best children a mother could wish for.

My dad begins to explain, but my mom shushes him and hits him with a wooden spoon. “Quiet everyone, the baby is sleeping. You don’t want to wake her. She’s had quite the adventurous day, so she needs some rest.”

I wave her off. “It’s okay. She’s a pretty good sleeper for her age. Once she’s out, she sleeps for a few hours at a time and talking can’t wake her. If anything it kind of soothes her more since she’s used to falling asleep during a story.” But at the smallest other noises she wakes up easily. I wish she would be as good of a sleeper as teenage Henry. I bet he could’ve slept through an earthquake without being bothered at all.

Henry looks at me with even more surprise, but also excitement. “And I have a cousin, too?” Nope. But he might one day, but that’s in the far future. I’ll make sure of that. I won’t let any stupid girl hurt my brother. They’ll have to deal with me first before I’ll let anyone near him. I’m sure my dad will help, if he’s just half as enthusiastic about it as he was with me.

All I really know is, that I’m already far too protective of my little brother, so I assume it’ll get worse, when he starts dating. The thought itself makes me cringe. My little brother isn’t allowed to grow up. He needs to stay all cute and adorable forever. God, I miss him so much.

I walk towards Henry and shake my head, before sinking down on my knees to be at eye level with him and I start putting my hands on either side of his face. I missed this, too. Now when I talk to Henry I have to look up and stand on my tiptoes to hug him. He’s grown up far too quickly. I mean he was as tall as me, when he was just 14. “She’s not your cousin. I know what I’m about to tell you will sound weird, Henry, but I know that if anyone believes me for sure, it’ll be you.” At least I hope so. I mean he does love all the stories in his book and he’s got the heart of the truest believe, so I’m really not worried.  “I’m your mom, but I’m from the future. Your little sister accidently sent us back in time and now your mom and your grandparents will help me to find my way back home.”

Henry looks at me for a second with wide eyes, before a smile spreads on his whole face. “Really? That’s so cool.”

I chuckle. Now that’s the boy I remember. My little believer.

He hugs me tightly and I return the favor with pleasure. I finally have my little boy back in my arms. Now I’ll definitely cry, I think, and a second later tears begin to stream down my face.

Henry pulls away and looks at me sadly. “Are you okay, mom?”

“Yeah. I’m just very emotional lately.” I smile at him, cupping his cheeks once more.

The Henry’s smile covers his whole face again and his eyes light up like the stars. “So, do I really have a sister?”

“Yeah. Her name is Hope. You can meet her once she’s done with her nap.” He’ll love her a lot. I know since his older self does. I remember the day, they first met. I was still in the hospital with little Hope, when Henry arrived in Storybrooke. When he couldn’t find us at home, he came straight to the hospital after he called Killian. His smile, when he first had her in his arms was brighter than I’ve ever seen him smile.

“Dinner’s ready.” My mom says from the dining table. I haven’t even realized, that she had set the table and brought all the food until now. I got too distracted by seeing ten-year-old Henry again.

The dinner passes pretty uneventful. Henry asks a bunch of questions about his sister and I answer them gladly. It’s kind of weird how excited he is about it now, when he didn’t really care that much in our timeline. But I guess it’s because he’s still small, while Henry moved out and left the realm by the time I got pregnant. He probably didn’t feel as connected to her until he met her as this carefree ten-year-old version of him does.


	19. Chapter 18

 

**\--- PAST EMMA’S POV ---**

This day is too much, I realize as soon as we all sit down for dinner. Henry keeps asking the future me questions about her own timeline and about Baby Hope, which freaks me out. I might’ve gotten a little more used to the baby, but still. It’s like the more I hear, the bigger the urge to run away from here and from my feelings gets. I don’t run though. Not until we’re finished with dinner anyway. The baby started crying about a minute ago, announcing that she’s awake. Henry sprang up from his seat instantly, took Emma’s hand and rushed her up the stairs with him to introduce his little sister to him.

Mary Margret and David sit on the couch and talk lightly to each other.

That’s when I see my chance to escape this place for a while. I quietly put my jacket on and try to slip out of the door, but of course nothing goes unnoticed by Mary Margret. She joins me at the doorstep and crosses her arms, while raising an eyebrow.

“And where exactly are you going?” she asks annoyed because I tried to leave without a goodbye. She’s way too nosy for her own good. I know she’s probably only trying to make up for my sucky childhood, but I don’t need to be mothered anymore. I needed that 28 years ago, when she gave me away for the greater good. Now I’m all grown up and I don’t need to ask for permission to leave the house or something like that.

“Don’t know yet. For a walk perhaps. I just need some air. You’ll watch after Henry, right?” I say, while stepping out the door and pulling it shut behind me. I hear Mary Margret and perhaps David, too, opening the door again as I run down the stairs, but I don’t look back. Nor do they try to stop me.

As soon as I leave the building, I take a deep breath. I much needed to get out of there. Otherwise I probably would’ve turned all crazy in the next few minutes. I know for sure, that I would’ve done something stupid. This is just all too much. My life has been far too insane ever since I arrived in Storybrooke. There’s magic and problems around every single corner. And it seems like the more time passes, the crazier the crises get. Will I ever have a normal life like Emma says I will? I sure hope so, which freaks me out and makes me walk faster.

It seems too unrealistic to even consider a normal life in this town.

I mean, your future self arriving in town with her baby – even though I don’t want another baby – is something straight out of a science fiction movie. But I guess the saying is true. Everything is science fiction until someone makes it science fact, which Baby Hope did in this case. Does that mean my daughter will invent time travel? Or did it exist before then?

 _Stop it_ , I think. I shouldn’t consider her as my daughter. Who knows if anything Emma says is the truth? Or she could be wrong, and the future is already different. It’s not like I’ll ever know much about magic, so she should be pretty clueless about it, too.

I can’t get my hopes up for now, which is ironic since my daughter’s name is Hope. How the hell did I consider this a good choice?

What the hell was I even thinking, when I kind of bonded with the baby earlier at the station. I kind of got used to the thought of having another. I can’t do all that. Emma might think, that she won’t get her heart broken ever again, but what does she know? She’s probably not far away from getting her heart broken, right? For all I know her and that husband of hers could’ve gotten married a few days after meeting each other and instantly had a kid together. The kid itself and the marriage aren’t some sort of clarification that it’s going to work out and that she won’t get her heart broken by that guy.

And if this really is my future, it means it’s inevitable, right? So, her future heartbreak will be mine. I don’t need that. Not again. I’ve spent too much time in emotional pain already throughout life. Before Henry was back in my life, all my days were just painful ones again and again. I was never happy, but I am now, right? I’m not just content like Emma believes me to be. The way my life is right now is enough. I don’t need a husband or a baby. I’m fine without them and the risk of getting hurt is rather small now. That’s all I need in order to be happy.

I walk through the quiet new England town, until I pass the Rabbit Hole. I stop there and decide that I’m desperate need for a drink today. Maybe it’ll make me forget today’s events for a while. Not having to think about everything – even just for a moment – will hopefully be enough for now.

Tomorrow I’ll have to help Emma find a way back to the future and once she’s gone, I won’t remember that any of this happened. It’ll be like waking up from a nightmare without having to remember having it in the first place. That sounds like a great thing I must admit.

I won’t know for at least a while, that I’ll get my heart broken again – not until the day it eventually happens. That thought is really calming, I suppose. I’ll be able to spare myself some pain at least.

I walk into the Rabbit Hole and head straight to the bar. I’ve been in here often before thanks to almost daily barfights caused by the dwarves, so I walk to the bar without having to look around. One perk my job offers. Not a big one for all the crises I have to deal with, but better than nothing. It can come in quite handy at times like right now.

As soon as I sit down on a barstool, I order rum. The bartender pours it, and I instantly gulp it down in one go, before ordering another one.

That’s when I hear a chuckle from my right. My eyes follow the sound and I lock eyes with Hook, who sits a few chairs away from me with his own glass of rum. That is until he gets up to sit next to me anyway.

Great. I came here to escape my problems – not to run into new ones. Nor to get annoyed by Captain Hook. Why am I always so unlucky?

“Looks like someone is trying to forget things. Look, I have a few better ideas of how to get your mind off things.” He smirks and raises that eyebrow in suggestion. I could punch him in the face. Is he even capable of not flirting with everyone in a three-mile radius?

“Not in a million years, Hook.” I do my best to glare at him, but even that’s too hard today. I’m far too exhausted from all my emotional dilemmas to bicker with Hook. Usually it’s so much easier since he’s literally begging for fights with all his annoyingness and his too high confidence.

He smiles at my failed attempt to glare at him.

I empty my glass again, get up from my seat and sit in a booth near the door, but of course Hook is following me. Why can’t people just leave me the fuck alone?

“Are you avoiding me?” he asks with a pout.

“Why wouldn’t, I? It’s not like we’re friends or anything. I keep having to tell you that. Don’t you have anyone else to bother?”

He suddenly chuckles and rests his arm on the booth behind me. I push his arms away and hit his shoulder.

“So, I was right. You are in such a foul mood because you’re trying to avoid me. Has it perhaps anything to do with our kiss?” He’s teasing me and also, I can’t believe, that he’s still so certain that kiss happened. He must be so damn delusional, or he has hallucinations because of his beloved rum. Maybe he has extremely vivid dreams. Who knows? All I’m really certain about is that he’s crazy. After I deal with my future self and Cora, I’ll have to deal with Hook. His craziness will only cause problems in the future, if I do nothing. I need to make Storybrooke a safe place since Henry refuses to move to Boston with me. Life in Boston was so great, and I wish Henry could finally see that. But that kid is stubborn. He must have gotten it from his grandmother.

“No kiss happened, Hook. You dreamed it or whatever. Accept that.” I snap.

“Oh, Swan, that kiss did most certainly happen. You’re just too stubborn to admit it.” He gives me a look, which seems to be serious for once. I didn’t know Hook was capable of being serious – but maybe he can be when he’s dead wrong.

I’m not stubborn. Nor did the kiss happen outside of Hook’s dreams. Or did it? Did Emma kiss him and now he thinks, that it was me?


	20. Chapter 19

**\--- PAST EMMA’S POV ---**

What the hell?! Emma can’t possibly have kissed Hook? Right?

I mean she’s me. He’s Hook. I would never ever kiss Hook. I don’t even like him. This just doesn’t add up. Why would I ever even consider kissing him? Sure, he isn’t too bad looking and we do kind of understand each other, but that doesn’t automatically make me want to kiss him. He’s one of the most annoying people I know, so kissing him would only lead to him being even worse than he already is with all the teasing and smirking 24/7. I swear if I could, I’d staple that eyebrow of his on his face, so he couldn’t raise it every few seconds any more.

There has to be another explanation for the whole kiss problem. One that actually makes sense.

It’s probably like I originally assumed. Hook is a crazy person or a liar. So, him believing this kiss happened, doesn’t make it true. He thinks it happened since he believes everyone loves him as much as he loves himself. But he’s wrong about that. Most people are just annoyed by him – including myself.

There’s no way a version of me kissed him. And besides my obvious dislike towards him, Emma being a happily married woman proves this, too. She wouldn’t risk what she has with her husband, whom she seems to love a lot, for a kiss from Hook – in the past. She seems to think they’re true love after all, so she honestly wouldn’t cheat on him – especially not with such an infuriating pirate. The few failed relationships I did have, never involved any cheating on my part either. So, I doubt I would start now that I am in a great one.

So, let’s just move on and agree that Hook is insane.

“Oh, Swan, that kiss did most certainly happen. You’re just too stubborn to admit it. But one day you will and that's when all the fun begins.” He smirks at me and I consider leaving, but I know it won’t do me any good. He’ll just run after me. And I’d have nowhere else to go except for the loft, which is out of the question for at least another few hours.

So, I order another glass of rum as a staff member passes us, and lean back into the booth, trying to enjoy my evening away from the craziness happening at the loft. I do my best to ignore Hook, but his constant staring sure does make it hard. If I don’t control myself, I know I’ll punch him soon.

I down another shot of rum, thinking it might distract me enough to ignore Hook for a little, but that’s not the case. That’s also when I have enough. I turn towards him and snap at him. “What?!”

He raises his eyebrow in surprise at my sudden outburst. And here he is constantly going on about how he can read my every thought since I’m an open book to him. Seems like he was wrong now, doesn’t it? One point for me.

“Quit staring at me!” I say angrily.

“I’m just enjoying the view, love.” He smirks. I punch his arm lightly, which just makes him chuckle. I know I should’ve hit him harder. Now he’ll just assume it was a friendly little punch.

“That’s such a cliché.” I reply, trying to distract him. Hook seems to be confused by that, so my plan officially worked. He knew that he probably doesn’t know the word. I’m not sure whether it exists in the Enchanted Forest and in addition he’s 300 years old or something, so how would he even know? “It’s a kind of sentence, that is used very often – to the extent that it’s overused – and it sounds creepy because of that.” I actually offer him a smile. “Also, I’m not your ‘love’ so stop calling me that.”

“Well, it is the truth, _love_. And if I’m not allowed to look at you, then how am I supposed to figure out why you’re so vexed today?”

Just proves again how much I am not an open book. That time on the beanstalk he must’ve only gotten lucky. He couldn’t actually ‘read my mind’ then, just like he can’t now. Everything he did knew was probably just a guess or Cora spied on us and told him to make him seem trustworthy.

I never completely believed him – only partly since we seem to be a lot alike, bonded by our pasts – when he called me an open book. And I am very relieved that that’s right. Not a single person in the world needs to know my business. I’ve done well on my own since I was a little kid, and that hasn’t changed. I don’t need anyone in my life. It’s great to have Henry, but he’s really the only person I’m willing to get vulnerable with. That’s a smart choice, right?

Why does Hook want to know what’s up with me anyway? Is he still working for Cora? I mean he said that she has her own agenda here and I actually believed him then. My lie detector didn’t indicate a lie, which seems to be the case whenever I talk to him. He never seems to lie to me, but that doesn’t make sense. He’s a pirate and they are supposed to lie. So, what’s his deal right now?

He doesn’t really care, does he? He’s probably just bored or inquisitive.

“As if you actually care about what has me in such a bad mood.” I say dryly, trying not to let it show, that this actually scares the crap out of me. Why does he have to seem so trustworthy and nice all the time? It just confused my brain into thinking that he cares about me. But he doesn’t. I mean, who could ever care about me? I’m not someone that other people give a crap about. That’s how its always been.

Also, I’m always doing my best at being mean to him, so why doesn’t he ever leave? Why doesn’t he let me push him away? It’s always been so easy with everyone else in my life – they even left me without me trying to push them out of my life.

“Maybe I do care.” He’s almost whispering by now, but I hear every single word crystal clear. The worst thing about this is that it sounds so damn sincere. He’s actually serious about this, isn’t he? I was prepared for that admission, at least that’s what I thought when I teased him. But I wasn’t really ready for this.  “So, what is it that’s bothering you, Swan? Maybe I can help…”

He must have better things to do then sitting here and offering to listen to my problems, right? People don’t put me first. Is he doing this because he’s got no one either? Or because he actually wants to help me?

Tears build behind my eyelids and I just stare at him with big eyes. I don’t know what to say, so I tell myself that sometimes actions speak louder than words. I shift in the booth to sit closer to him. I lean in very slowly to make that kiss he keeps talking about real, but just as our lips are about to touch, I hear the bartender setting down a little bottle of rum on our table.

I pull away very fast, so that I’m almost hitting my head on the wall behind me in the progress. I say “This didn’t happen, so never mention it again – not to me nor to anyone else.” to Hook before getting out of my seat and leaving the Rabbit Hole. He doesn’t follow me this time.


	21. Chapter 20

**\--- PAST KILLIAN’S POV ---**

_AN: (1) There’s been questions about whether Killian (in the future) misses Emma and Hope by now, but actually he doesn’t know, that they aren’t there – unless Emma never makes it back to her timeline. It’s like in the S3 finale, when no noticed Cs was gone. When and if Emma and Hope jump forward in time again, they’ll go back to getting ready for Hope’s first adventure on the Jolly Rodger and to everyone else it’ll be like they never left in the first place. So, Mary Margret and David from the future don’t know anything about Emma’s future and Hope either (before Emma announced her pregnancy, engagement to them etc.)_

_(2) This is basically just the last two chapters in Killian’s POV, which is why I updated this story earlier than I usually would. Also I don’t know whether I’ll be able to update this next weekend since I’m moving. I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises._

 

I was pleasantly surprised when I saw Swan arrive at the tavern. For possibly the first time Smee actually had a great idea, when he told me to check this place out. I never would’ve run into Emma otherwise, so thanks first mate. I always enjoy spending time with Emma, even if she’s often yelling at me.

I’m still confused about the way she acted earlier since she doesn’t seem to remember our kiss this morning – or she at least pretends to not remember it – so lets check out if she still thinks that way. Maybe her bad mood has faded by now and she’s ready to talk about what the bloody hell happened between us this morning on my ship.

I keep sitting on my chair, but I turn a little to have a better view of her. She is drinking a glass of rum in one go. As soon as she sets her glass down, she orders another one, which I can’t help but chuckle at. That’s when she noticed me and turns in my direction, glaring daggers at me in the process. Swan is obviously still not in the best mood. I hope it’s not because of our kiss, which she’s trying to forget. I know she’s not too fond of me – our earlier conversation on main street proving as much – but she can’t regret our kiss that much, right? I can’t have been the only one being affected by it. At least it didn’t seem that way on my ship. She was obviously not against it – back then I even thought that she might have enjoyed it. And she did trust me with the baby – her daughter whose existence makes no sense since Emma never mentioned her before. And she wasn’t pregnant when we met either.

Anyway, I won’t figure out what’s wrong with her, while dumbly staring at her and being confused, so I get out of my seat and sit down next to her. She sighs sadly, but I act like I don’t notice. It’s probably better to not act differently around her because then she’ll start running away again and I don’t want that. I need to figure out why she’s so upset. Maybe I can even help her with her problems – that is if she lets me. If she is willing to let me help, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. I’m aware that we hardly know each other, but there was something going on between us. It’s probably because we’re both orphans, who never had much love in their lives. We’re like kindred spirits in that area.

“Looks like someone is trying to forget things. Look, I have a few better ideas of how to get your mind off things.” I smirk at her and raise my eyebrow, signalizing just what I have in mind. I don’t expect her to agree with my suggestion of us having some fun. But I feel like she’ll be more comfortable and more likely to tell me the truth, if I just act like the pirate I am – I did act like this before when I promised her that when I jab her with my sword, she’ll feel it. She doesn’t like it when people get too close to her, so I have to very careful. I can’t let it show that I actually care about her well-being.

Emma just glares at me before emptying her glass once again and moving to a booth near the door. I suppose she probably does it to get away from me, but I just take it as an invitation to sit there with her.

“Are you avoiding me?” I ask her.

“Why wouldn’t, I? It’s not like we’re friends or anything. I keep having to tell you that. Don’t you have anyone else to bother?” she snaps back.

Ouch. That hurts, I must admit. I actually did believe we were becoming friends, but apparently, I was wrong. Or we actually get closer and it scares Emma, so she’s pushing me away to protect her heart from getting broken. The latter is more likely and also far less depressing for me.

I hide my discomfort and chuckle, acting once again like I don’t care. I rest my hand behind her, making it seem like I’m doing it to annoy her, but actually I wish I could pull her into my arms and never let anything bad happen to her ever again. It’s not like Emma needs protection, but still. She’s a tough lass. I mean she did almost manage to defeat me at the Lake – with hardly any sword fighting experience. I only let her win in the last few seconds of our fight because I knew how much she needed to get home to Henry – and also her daughter whom I didn’t know about, I suppose. I might be a pirate, but I would never let any kid go through what both Emma and I went through as kids. I did that mistake too often before with Baelfire and my younger brother, but not again.

Unfortunately, Swan minds my arm a lot and not even a few seconds after I put it behind her, she punches it away. Then she hits my shoulder, but it’s just in a friendly way. She’s not even trying to hurt me. It seems like I’m making progress. Maybe I can win her trust after all.

She wouldn’t try to push me away to this extent, if I didn’t mean anything to her. If I was just another annoying person to her, my arm around her wouldn’t be a risk to her heart. It’s not like I was directly hugging her. So, I was right. The kiss must have meant something to her – even if it’s just a tiny bit.

“So, I was right. You are in such a foul mood because you’re trying to avoid me. Has it perhaps anything to do with our kiss?” I tease her once again, but she finds nothing funny about all this.

“No kiss happened, Hook. You dreamed it or whatever. Accept that.” She snaps at me.

Being who I am, I answer immediately, which might not be a good idea since it’s something that Emma isn’t ready to hear. “Oh, Swan, that kiss did most certainly happen. You’re just too stubborn to admit it. But one day you will and that's when all the fun begins.”

I didn’t even mean to say the last part, but it slipped out. She definitely isn’t ready to hear that – the first part perhaps, but not, that I think we could be great together. But maybe she didn’t notice since she completely zoomed out half into my statement.

Swan’s expression changed drastically then, and I half expected her to run away, but she didn’t.

She still sits in the booth, not moving and clearly thinks very hard about something. Is she actually considering that I was right? Is she finally going to admit our kiss happened? Is she even considering that it meant something to both of us?

We sit in silence for what feels like forever, until Emma turns to a passing employee and orders another glass of rum. Right about then she seems to calm down again. She leans back into the booth and gets comfortable. Her gaze is fixed straight ahead, and she once again does her best to ignore me.

So, she really is going to pretend nothing happened. Okay two can play this game. So, I look at her and try to read her. It’s not as easy today as it usually is. Something must have happened, that caused her walls to climb higher than they already were. She is trying to push me away, which means that she must have admitted to herself that we have a connection. It scared her and now she trusts me even less than she did on the beanstalk. But that’s okay. I can win her over again. I’ve got all the time in the world since Swan is the only thing that’s important to me right now.

I came here intending to kill the crocodile, but I hurt him by erasing his love’s memories and now he is miserable. Now I can focus solely on Emma. She quickly became more important to me than my revenge. Ever since that kiss, I can’t deny anymore that she’s special to me. I only ever loved Milah and when she died, I thought my only chance at happiness was gone. But as it turns out, I was wrong. I’ve gotten a second chance at happiness and I damn well intend to use it.

“What?!” Emma’s voice catches me by surprise. I’ve totally zoomed out of reality, even though I was still looking at her. “Quit staring at me!”

Well, if she would talk to me, I might not feel the need to try to read her.

“I’m just enjoying the view, love.” She punches my arm at the comment, but it’s once again a friendly gesture. I’m winning her over. I can feel it. And this time I’m not wrong like earlier – at least I hope so. With Emma you never know, when she’ll shut you out again. She’s been through a lot of pain, so I guess it makes sense. It’s why we understand each other so well since we both are familiar with great amounts of pain and loneliness. It makes me feel very protective of her. My first love, my Milah, was murdered, so I’m constantly scared that something similar will happen to Emma. I can’t let that happen. I can’t lose her, too.

“That’s such a cliché.” She looks at me and I give her signal, that I’m extremely confused. She smiles lightly, and I feel like jumping up and down because Emma Swan smiled at me. But I don’t have much time to be excited since she explains the weird word. “It’s a kind of sentence, that is used very often – to the extent that it’s overused – and it sounds creepy because of that. Also, I’m not your ‘love’ so stop calling me that.”

She might not know it yet, but she is indeed my love. At least she’ll be. I’m quite certain that we’ll be together one day. Unless she’ll never get over her stubbornness.

“Well, it is the truth,  _love_. And if I’m not allowed to look at you, then how am I supposed to figure out why you’re so vexed today?”

“As if you actually care about what has me in such a bad mood.” She says dryly, not showing any kind of emotion, but I know her better than that. Her eyes are sad. She has that lost boy look in them, that I’m far too familiar with. She tries to hide it because she doesn’t want any pity, but her childhood still bothers her. A lot. She’ll never get over it – not completely. There will always be a little sadness in her.

That’s one more reason why I want to be with her. I just want to make her happy. She deserves it. She deserves the bloody world and she’ll have it, if she lets me give it to her.

I swear, Swan, I can make you happy. You just have to let me.

“Maybe I do care.” I’m almost whispering right now, too afraid to push her away. I know this is dangerous territory. I see it in her eyes. How this scared her, but that just proves that we’re on the same page here. She cares about me in some way. She just isn’t ready to admit it – not even to herself. “So, what is it that’s bothering you, Swan? Maybe I can help…”

She looks at me with big eyes. Tears built in them. She isn’t trying to push me away right now. She’s actually trying to let me in. She just doesn’t know what to say. All this is very hard for her because of her fear to get hurt.

I don’t intend to ever hurt her, but I understand where her reaction is coming from. I appreciate that she at least tries to let me in. That’s a great step for her.

I was right about our connection.

But she still has some surprises up her sleeves.

She turns more to me and scoots closer on the booth. Our legs are touching by now. She looks at me with her tear-filled eyes and slowly begins to lean in. It feels like time stops completely, until of course our lips are almost touching and the bartender decides to set a bottle of rum on our table in that exact moment. I don’t think I’ve ever hated anyone more than I hate him right now.

Emma springs away from me, almost hurting her head in the process. She rambles on about how this didn’t happen, but I don’t really hear a word since I’m still too confused about what just happened. She almost kissed me again. For someone who claims to hate me so much she sure has a great way of showing it.

Before I really know what’s happening, she leaves the Rabbit Hole. I keep sitting in the booth. I feel immobilized, so even if I thought it was a good idea to follow her, I couldn’t.

Bloody hell.

It’s probably a good thing we were interrupted though, I think, while I look at the bottle of rum on the table. She had quite some rum, so she probably would’ve regretted the kiss tomorrow morning just like she does with our first kiss. I don’t want her to have any regrets. If we would’ve kissed now, it would’ve been wrong. I would’ve taken advantage of her tipsy state and I couldn’t live with myself in that case. I’m an honourable man and I would never force myself on anyone.

I’m not even sure, if our first kiss actually meant something to her. I know that it changed everything for me. And in given time she might change her opinion on me too. I’ll just have to prove to her, that I don’t want to be that awful pirate anymore. I want to be a good man for her. I don’t care how hard it’ll be to change – for my Swan it’ll be worth it.


	22. Chapter 21

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

The next day, Emma and I make our way to the library in hopes of finding an answer for my time travel problems. It was once again very hard for me to say goodbye to my little girl, my little Hope, even though my mom kept insisting that she will take great care of her. I know she’ll be okay. I do trust my mom – unlike how she was acting the first time I offered to babysit my brother, but I’d rather have Hope with me 24/7. It kills me not to know what she is doing right now. I’m always stressed about how she could cry right now, and I probably wouldn’t know. I had a weird feeling yesterday when she was so upset about missing her dad, but who knows whether my intuition will work once again?

But I suppose that both my parents were right about Hope being a distraction – a nice distraction in my eyes, but a distraction nonetheless.

So, I gave in, but only on the condition that my mom calls me every 30 minutes with an update and a visit during lunch time. Hope needs to eat after all. She has her bottle, but I can use every excuse I can find in order to see my little baby. Also, it’s far better for her to drink fresh milk, which didn’t lose any nutrients yet.

Anyway, I miss her already and we haven’t even left for 10 minutes yet. We’re just arriving at the library actually. I can just hope now, that my work here will distract me enough to get through a few hours without my baby girl.

 

**…**

 

As we browse all the shelves in the library, I realize that something seems to be off with Emma. For a while I tell myself, that she’s still freaked out about me and Hope being here – for good reason. I think this is something that could still send me running in my own timeline. And I’m happy now and have no doubt about Killian ever leaving me.

But the more time passes, the less I believe that Emma is only upset about the future. This must be about something else – something far worse. Worse in her opinion anyway. For all I know it could be something that wouldn’t scare me anymore.

She wasn’t acting like this yesterday. So, it makes no sense that her state of freaked-out-ness would get worse as time passes. It should lessen since she seemed to get used to the fact that she’ll another baby yesterday. Her and Hope were bonding quite a lot. Hell, Emma even bought a little Swan plushie for Hope this morning, when she went to get coffee from Granny’s.

There’s no way she would have done that, if she was still in unease about the whole situation, so something else must have happened.

The next time Emma seems to completely zone out, I turn to her, putting a book back onto the shelf. “What’s going on with you today?”

Emma is taken by surprise at that and lets the book she was holding crash to the floor. I was right then. She did completely zone out like she’s suddenly in another world – lost in her intense thoughts.

 

**\--- PAST EMMA’S POV ---**

 

Emma’s voice takes me by surprise. Until I hear the book I was previously holding hit the floor, I don’t even notice that I let it fall – or that I was even holding a book to begin with.

My mind is just a total mess today. I can’t focus on anything else for longer than a few seconds without being reminded of yesterday’s events. I still don’t understand what the hell happened. What was I even thinking?

One moment everything was okay and I was doing fine. I was ignoring Hook. But then my mind actually considered that Hook isn’t too bad and that he might care for me?

What the hell?!

No one cares about me except for Henry. My own parents didn’t even care enough about me to keep me. They cared more about the population of the Enchanted Forest than me. So, why the hell would Hook ever care about me? He doesn’t even know me! We aren’t even friends or anything close to that.

“Emma?” My future self asks again.

She’s looking at me with worry written all over her face. Did I make it that obvious that I’m a mess today? I never should have gone to the Rabbit Hole yesterday – I should have left as soon as I saw Hook in there. I mean I knew he was trouble when he walked in. It’s a shame on me. I let all that happen. I even almost kissed him.

If the bartender wouldn’t have interrupted… – I don’t even want to think about the consequences. He already thinks that I kissed him. A ‘second’ kiss would’ve only made his whole behaviour worse.

He’s a pirate after all. If I already don’t trust anyone, there’s no way in hell I should trust him. He’s a liar and thief and he only thinks about himself.

 

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

“Emma? What’s bothering you? You know you can talk to me, right? Whatever you’re going through, it’s probably something that I went through, too. I can help you. I’d never judge you about anything. We’re the same person after all. You can tell me everything. You don’t have to be afraid. We can share whatever burden you have.” I approach her and put my hand on her arm.

She is freaking out a lot. I can tell by the look in her eyes. This – whatever it is – is worse for her than Hope and me arriving here from the future. What the hell happened? I can’t remember anything bad happening around this time – except my reunion with Neal, but Emma wasn’t in New York yet, so no Neal.

Did I change the past too much already? Did I mess up like last time, when I caused my parents meeting to be interrupted? Please not again. That was stressful enough. My mom almost died then – I had to watch her burn to death. And I was in a better situation then – I wasn’t alone since I had Killian who stopped me from making mistakes, which is something I think about every ten minutes here in the past. I had someone to hold me when I felt like breaking down and crying my eyes out.

I give Emma a smile and eventually she starts to talk. I didn’t expect that she would open up. I thought we’d stand here for hours, her always denying that somethings wrong. That’s a nice surprise.

“I’m just in weird mood because of yesterday.” She says.

“The future will be fine – like I said. You’ll be fine. The future’s nothing to be afraid of.” I almost say Swan since that advice is one that Killian gave me back in Camelot. But fortunately, I stop myself since that would freak Emma out even more. She’d know about Hope’s parentage then and I know she isn’t ready for that. She’d probably run to her car and move to New York or Boston or some other place far away from here.

“That’s not it. Well it is, but not really. I’ve kind of come to terms with my future. Hope is adorable, so you can’t really stay frightened of her. She just has that kind of face, that you fall in love with instantly.” Emma smiles, before taking a deep breath. She’s right though. I can’t imagine that anyone is capable of not loving Hope. She’s got all people in Storybrooke wrapped around her little fingers already.

“Last night after dinner, I went to the Rabbit Hole. I thought it would give me some peace and quiet, a nice drink, but well…Hook was there too. And that was just weird.” She says quietly. Then she takes a break again.

Oh god. If she is this freaked out because of Killian – does that mean he told her about the kiss? He did, didn’t he? And now she knows about him and I and it’s scaring her. How the hell do I fix this? Last time I only had to make sure my parents meet, but now I’ll have to deal with my own stubbornness to make sure my own relationship survives this adventure.

I’m not even good at this. I’m pretty sure Killian and I only got together because he never terrified me enough to run far away – emotionally. He knew that if he wanted a chance from me, he had to be careful and very patient.

If he was here with Hope instead of me, I’m sure he’d be able to fix this easier. He probably never would’ve caused complications to begin with.

I always assumed I wouldn’t be trapped here for long – that I would find my way back home soon. But I’m not so sure anymore. I’m trapped in the past and I might’ve caused my past self and the past version of my husband to never get together by scaring Emma off.


	23. Chapter 22

**\--- PAST EMMA’S POV ---**

When I first start talking to Emma about Hook and me meeting up last night at the Rabbit Hole, I’m still wary – not wanting to give away too much. Keeping all my feelings bottled up worked out well for me in the past. It’s how I’ve always survived. I do better on my own after all. When you let no one in, they don’t have the power to hurt you.

But soon I realize, that it feels good to talk to Emma. She was right. I can somehow trust her, and she could give me some advice, too, since she probably went through the same thing a few years ago. She might know how to get rid of Hook and my conflicting feelings for him.

Feelings might not be the right word since it sounds far too romantic, but it’s the best way to put it. I did almost kiss Hook, but that meant nothing. He was being nice for a small amount of time and my brain tricked me into thinking that he cares about me.  Let’s just call it a brain malfunction or a plain mistake.

Thankfully the bartender’s interruption made me see clearly again and now I’m all better. End of the story, right? Nothing left to worry about, but why can’t I stop thinking about it then?

“I have no idea what the hell happened yesterday, you know. It confuses the hell out of me. To be honest, it freaks me out – like a lot.” I say quietly. I don’t even know if Emma hears me. I’m not a person for sharing personal stuff, so when I actually do it, I do it very quietly in hopes of no one hearing a word I say.

Emma stands close to me though and she’s listening carefully. Her hand is still on my arm and she gives it a little squeeze.

“What happened at the Rabbit Hole?” Emma asks softly, her voice full of concern. That confuses me a lot more than I like to admit. Shouldn’t Emma know everything about me because we’re literally the same person? Or are there worse things in the future, that make this irrelevant? I’m afraid to even ask Emma, so I decide on telling her. Maybe – hopefully – that’s the only reason she asks. She might only want me to get all of this off my chest.

“Hook was being his annoying self. I was trying to avoid him, but he obviously wouldn’t let that happened and followed me around the bar. You know, the usual.”

That’s still the easy part. It’s okay to talk about this since it means nothing. It’s just an everyday situation. The hard part will start only now. And as much as I like how Emma is actually listening to me and how she cares about my happiness, I’m not ready. Not quite yet. So, I stall a little and take a few deep breaths – half to buy myself some time and half to collect my thoughts, which seems nearly impossible today.

Why the hell did I get myself into this mess again?

 

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

So, all Hook did was be his usual self aka the biggest flirt in town. He was just throwing his innuendos at her? That can’t be it, right? I know I was guarded back then and never let myself be vulnerable with anyone – except Henry in some situations. But I wasn’t that bad. Not even nearly. Sure, I was annoyed by Hook, too, back in the day, but it never freaked me out. I was mostly amused by it – not that I would’ve had admitted that to anyone back then. In public I just rolled my eyes whenever he was being a flirt.

But this is good, right?

If Emma is only freaked out because Hook wouldn’t give her space, when she was sad, then I might’ve not screwed up my relationship just yet. I should be fine if I proceed with caution. Which means not talking to Emma about our future – well her future.

“I was pretty upset yesterday because the whole situation with you and Hope was a lot to take in.” Don’t you say. I thought that was pretty obvious, but apparently, she tried to hide it. Interesting. I knew I wasn’t the best liar, but I didn’t know that my secret keeping abilities were just as good as my mom’s.

Emma continues. “So, I just wanted some space, while Hook thought we should hang out together. I was pretty harsh to him since I wanted to be alone, but he just wouldn’t leave.” And that’s one of the reasons I love him so much. He doesn’t just leave, whenever things get tough. He always stays and makes sure that I’m okay. He’s the only person who truly always puts me first. Even that time I told him that the wedding shouldn’t happen anytime soon because he lied to me. Sure, he thought about leaving, but he wouldn’t have, if it wasn’t for Gideon. He never would’ve left without a goodbye either, which is why I was so broken when he vanished without a trace. It’s the only reason I believed everyone, when they thought I should move on.

“And then suddenly we kind of got along. I have no idea how that happened or why. I just had the sudden urge to have a friend to lean on, I think, and my gut told me to trust him, which is insane. I know. He’s a pirate and a human being. How could I ever trust him? Everybody lies. Besides Henry, I don’t think there’s anyone I’ll ever trust.” She looks down and takes a couple deep breaths. This time she is done with the conversation. I see it in her posture. There’s still something she’s not willing to tell me, but that’s okay. She did tell me more than I ever expected her to tell me. She must trust me – even if it’s just a little bit.

I look at her to check if she wants me to say anything just yet – I’m careful since I’m always afraid to push her too much. She is upset already. I don’t want to make it worse. I think, she actually does wish that she could let Killian or other people besides me and Henry in, but she’s always too scared to get screwed over again. She never wants to have a broken heart again.

That’s why she really does regret being nice to Killian. She doesn’t trust him enough yet to see that he’ll never hurt her on purpose. It’s something I have to change though. I wasn’t too fond of him in the beginning either, but I wouldn’t say that I ever hated him and was being extremely rude to him. Emma just said herself that she usually is very harsh to him. I always understood that we were somehow connected by our pasts – she is most likely not admitting that to herself just yet. It also scared me for sure and I tried to push him away, but we were always sort of friendly to each other. I can’t risk Emma’s hatred for him to cause problems in the future, so I have to warm her up to Killian.

They did bond a little yesterday, which is a big surprise to me. It should make my job fairly easy. I should be able to start a friendship between them.

Maybe then Killian will have less work this time and I won’t be as stubborn. He certainly doesn’t deserve all the rejection I gave him in the past, when I was still hell bend on running away from my feelings for him. I know it doesn’t bother him since he loves a challenge and he won’t give up – no matter how stubborn she’ll be, but still.

He might not need my help, but I’ll give it to him anyway since I love him so much.

“It’s not insane to trust Hook. He might be a pirate, but he isn’t too bad.” It feels so weird now to call him by his colourful moniker. I used to call him that in front of my family, only referring to him as Killian in the privacy of his room at Granny’s or the Jolly Rodger – where we spent most nights in the early stages of our relationship – or later our home. But a lot has changed since then. I don’t even remember, when I last called him ‘Hook.’ I’m pretty sure that it was before our wedding. “He’s actually a good friend to me – if not my best friend.” It’s true. Next to Elsa, he is indeed my best friend. It’s the most I can tell Emma about our relationship since our marriage would certainly send her running.

I am even holding my breath right now. Finding out you’ll be best friends with someone you aren’t too fond of now in the future might not be a big deal for most people, but with me you never know. The foster system and Neal just messed me up on a whole new level. But I would never take my past back. It’s what’s made me who I am. I still hate thinking about my childhood and I’ll never truly get over it, but it’s easier to live with now because I have many people who love me. Without my past I probably wouldn’t have Henry, Hope and Killian now.

Emma looks up at me with big eyes. They shimmer with that look that I’ve seen in Killian’s eyes far too often before our relationship. It’s the look you get, when you got left alone. The look of a lost girl. An orphan. Someone, who doesn’t think she matters and doesn’t believe she ever will.

In that moment I wish, I could take Emma with me to the future and make sure she is happy 24/7. I’d actually love to wrap her in a bubble that protects her from the cruelty of the world and all of the pain, that she’s still about to be confronted with.

But I can’t do any of this. All I can do for now is hug her tightly and try to put her broken pieces back together, so I do that. I pull her to me and place my arms tightly around her waist. For a moment Emma just stands there frozen, but soon she wraps her arms around me too.

“If you ever need someone to talk to – someone to trust – you know you have me, right? And you also have Hook. He might seem like an annoying person right now, but he’s actually great. He just hides behind his villainous mask to protect himself from getting hurt. He’s been through a lot – just like we were. Just give him a chance to show you his true colours. He’s a good man, Emma. And he’ll never hurt you. Trust me and even more importantly trust him.”


	24. Chapter 23

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

Our search at the library turns out to be a total waste of time and energy. Seems like Gold wasn’t kidding, when he said time travel hasn’t been done yet. There isn’t any information about it in the Storybrooke library. It looks like I won’t be able to find anything about it in any book elsewhere either. I guess I’ll have to be creative then since I really do want to get back home. I can’t wait for someone to ‘invent’ time travel.

I can’t get home before I fixed everything else though, so when Emma excuses herself to go check on the sheriff station as we make our way back to the loft, I get an idea. Everything between Emma and Killian is kind of tense because of her walls and insecurities. I can’t let it get any worse, so I decide to search for Killian at the docks. I’ll have to make sure, that he never mentions the kiss – or at least makes it unbelievable for Emma. I’ll just have to mention to him, that I was only babysitting Hope. Then he won’t mention her to Emma and she’ll think the kiss only happened in his dreams. I hate to pretend she’s someone else’s baby, but I see no other way right now. It’ll only be for a few minutes anyway. I can do this. Let’s just hope that he can’t see right through my lie.

If I pull it off right, he should believe me. I mean, I never mentioned that she was my daughter, when we first met. I did act like I love her a lot – which is the truth – but that’s how many people act around babies. It shouldn’t make him wary.

This visit is also a way for me to see a version of my lovely husband. He might not actually be my Killian since his memories are different, but he is somehow my Killian anyway – he’ll be him one day after all. So, deep down he’s still the man I love and the man who loves me. I miss him so much even though it’s just been a day, so I don’t really care if he remembers our love for each other or not. I just want to see him. I’m sure looking at him will give me new strength and some inspiration, that I need in order to figure out how to get back home.

 

When I reach the docks, I instantly walk onto the deck of the Jolly Rodger. Killian might not like it, when people come aboard his ship without permission, but I don’t think he minds me – not even in the past. He always liked my company in some way even if it was only to flirt with me in order to annoy me.

I don’t spot him on the deck, so I call his name – getting into character for the first time. I’ll have to pretend to be my past self in order for my plan to work. Shouldn’t be too hard, right? Pretending to be myself in another timeline? I lived through this. My life might be very different now, but I’ll manage. I have to – there’s no way back now anyway. “HOOK?”

A few moments later, Killian climbs up from below deck. He was in his captain quarters.  “Swan, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

I cross my arms as we approach each other further. “Nothing. Just hanging out right here.” I can’t just say what I came to say. He’ll definitely figure out that I’m lying in that case. No, I need to be smart here. I’ll have to be patient – maybe as patient as Killian had to be before we got together. But hopefully that won’t necessary since I really don’t have that much time on my hands. I need to check on my baby. I haven’t seen for hours, which is the longest we’ve ever been apart.

“That’s not it, Emma. Why the sudden visit?” He looks at me with those blue orbs and I get lost in them for a moment. But who could blame me, right? He has the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen. It’s the same eyes my daughter has, too, my two loves.

Maybe I should just tell Killian that he needs to be patient with, which would fix not only the Hope problem, but also the Emma and him one. Then I’ll act like I have to leave because I promised someone I’ll babysit Hope for them.

I turn around, acting like I’m about to leave. This way I might also find out more about what happened last night. Emma told me plenty, but not everything, so it must be something big. She admitted many important things, so I don’t even know what she could possibly hide. But I guess Killian can help me with that. “But if that bothers you, I can just go.”

I take a step forward, but Killian is already touching my arm and blocking my way off the ship. He bought it. Looks like I can be a good actress after all, unless Killian is as confused today as Emma because of last night. That’s probably it. Otherwise he would’ve seen through my act already. He can normally read me like an open book after all.

“That’s not what I meant, love, and you know it. So, why are you here? Is this about what happened last night?” he looks at me with sadness in his eyes. My past self must have done something to hurt him, which caused her pain, too. She just doesn’t admit it. That’s probably the part she hides so well. But what exactly did happen? I’m more curious than ever.

“Nothing happened last night, so don’t ever mention it again.” I say. I hope he’ll just repeat the whole story now. He did always try to make me see what’s going on between us back when I acted like we’re nothing to each other.

Killian sighs and takes a deep breath. “Is this how it’s always going to be? We have a moment and then you’ll pretend it didn’t happen?”

“I’m not pretending. Nothing did happen.” I’m holding my breath every time I finish a sentence. I thought this would be easier. The words do come to me automatically, but I’m never really sure, if they’re the right words to say. I could act exactly like my past self right now, but I could also be her polar opposite. I have no idea. Why is this so hard to tell? I am her. This should be a cakewalk.

Well it does prove how much my life has changed for the better. I can’t even pretend to be the person I used to be now.

But my acting is probably okay. If Killian would have noticed something weird by now, he’d probably mention it. So, I should be fine.

“Bloody hell, Emma. You know exactly what happened! You’re just acting like last time. Is this going to be us for the rest of our lives now? You’re going to kiss me – or well almost kiss me – and the next day you’ll run away from your feelings and pretend it never happened?”

What the hell?! She almost kissed him? I knew something was off about her today, but I never even considered that! I thought Emma was more stubborn than me, but she’s actually doing better than I ever did.

Huh. I guess they don’t need my help after all. Killian is obviously never going to give up, which I never should’ve doubted. And Emma is slowly starting to accept her feelings – in her own pace, but sooner than me anyway. They’ll be just fine.

“What are you so scared of, Emma? I get that you’ve been hurt before, but you can trust me. I swear. I’m not that guy, who hurt you. I’ll never cause you any pain. I promise.” He’s begging me by now. Wow. This is just like Neverland all over again. Then he also fell in love with me right after our first kiss. I changed a lot in the timeline with that accidental kiss.

I give him a sad smile. If I wouldn’t have to pretend to be Emma right now, I’d probably lunge at him and kiss the holy daylight out of him to cheer him up and give him hope. I’m kind of falling in love with him all over again. But I can’t, so I concentrate on not crying and put my hand lightly on his cheek.

“Just be patient with me, okay?” I say softly. He raises his eyebrow at me, obviously in shock about my sudden change of heart, but I can see that he believes me. I give him one more meaningful look, before dropping my hand from his cheek and taking a step backwards.

“I have to leave now. I’m babysitting baby Hope again.” I start to turn away, but Killian’s voice stops me.

“Wait, Hope? I thought she was your child?” He asks confused.

“No. Did I look pregnant to you back in the Enchanted Forest?” I fire back. I leave him at that note. I’m glad he doesn’t say anything further because I can’t keep pretending any longer. It’s very hard. I hated having to say, that I only babysit Hope. I really need to hold her now to make up for it.

Also, I can’t be around him any longer and pretend that I’m not in love with him. I can’t be past Emma anymore. I don’t ever want to go back to how life was before, that’s for certain.


	25. Chapter 24

**\--- PAST EMMA'S POV ---**

 

When mine and Emma’s search in the library turns up no answers at all, we decide to leave. I don’t think I’m a big help in this, even though I’m actually trying – for Hope mostly, but also for Emma. She’s kind of the first person in a long time that I might consider my friend. But no matter how thick that friendship is, I need some privacy now. I need to think about the past two days. Otherwise I might end up freaking out. In that case I might say rude stuff to that, that I don’t mean at all.

So, I excuse myself as soon as we are on main street. I tell her, that I need to check in with David at the station, but that’s a lie. Well I do need to go there eventually, but I’m not ready for that yet. I still can’t believe I told Emma so much about yesterday’s insane, confusing events– and it didn’t even feel wrong in the moment, which might because of our newfound friendship.

Now I realize how big of a mistake it was though. I can’t just let people in. I can’t give anyone the power to hurt me. I know she is literally me, but that doesn’t mean I can trust her. Everyone ends up disappointing you and hurting you in the end – especially the people you didn’t expect to be capable of causing you pain.

Who knows if any of the things she said are even real? She might be lying to me all the time about how amazing my future is going to be. Worse, she might be crazy and actually believe all this. Or she’s just desperate for some hope of her own – pun intended. For all I know our life just got even worse and she wants to spare me the pain of that knowledge.

The worst thing is that all those hope speeches she has given me today work – a little anyway. They slowly make their way through my bloodstream towards my heart and the more time passes, the more I believe them wholeheartedly – or I at least  my heart is trying to trick me into believing her. Because deep down, that’s all I want to do – believe Emma’s every word. I want to be happy one day and her telling me that I will be feels great. I can’t even lie to myself about that.

I know it’s wrong though because I might live this ‘comfortable’ life of mine for all eternity. The world has been so cruel to me since the moment I was born, so why would that suddenly change? I don’t have that kind of luck.

I don’t want the hope she’s giving me. It scares me too much. I’m terrified that I’ll make mistakes and then my life won’t be as amazing as Emma describes it to be. This is all too much pressure and thinking about it makes me sick.

Also, what I told Henry the day we met, was true to me – one hundred percent. False hope is the worst thing anyone can give another person. The disappointment you feel once you realize the hope is not going to come true is one of the worst feelings I can think of. I believe this with my whole heart.

I need a distraction, so I approach the little shop one of the dwarves owns and I walk in. I greet Sneezy. As usual he sneezes as soon as he answers. I hear a couple more sneezes while I walk further into the store. Then I reach my destination: The toy aisle.

I’ve been planning to buy a little plushie toy for Hope since we kind of bonded yesterday, so that’s a great opportunity right now. It’ll distract me a little. Once I found one, I’ll check with David at the station and maybe do some paperwork.

If neither of these options works as a distraction, I honestly don’t know what to do. Maybe hang out with baby Hope a little. I was pretty calm, when I held her yesterday. I could introduce her to her new toy. I’m sure she’ll love it – that is if I’m going to find something, that’s good enough for her. She is the cutest baby I ever met – I refused to look at Henry after he was born after all – and she deserves only the best. Maybe it would actually be great if I end up not finding something here. Then I could drive to another town and look there. Even though I fear, that a road trip would give me too much time to think. Unless I take Henry with me. He loves road trips and he chatted a lot on our way from Boston here.

The downside on this plan is, that Henry is too smart for his own good. He’d sense that something is wrong. And he wouldn’t shut up about it for the whole trip. That’s why it’s easier to not have any friends or family, I guess. No one cares enough about you to bug you with personal questions.

I find a shelf full of little plushie toys and start to inspect it. Who knew there were so many toys in this small shop? I didn’t even know there were many kids in Storybrooke. I always assumed Mary Margret loves her job so much because she doesn’t have much to do. Guess I was wrong.

My eyes instantly land on a little swan plushie in the middle of the aisle.  It’s adorable and so fitting for the little one. I know as soon as I see it, that that’s it. I take it off the shelf and walk back to Sneezy to buy it.

He eyes me weirdly and I just know, that tomorrow there will be a hundred rumours circulating through Storybrooke, that will insinuate, that I have a kid. Well I do have one, but Henry wouldn’t appreciate plushies that much anymore. He’s outgrown that mostly. He still has the ones, that he had from an early age, but I doubt he’d want a new one.

Once I paid, I left the shop and walked to the station.


	26. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I know the updates are coming quite slowly these days, but that's bc uni started and I don't have as much time anymore. Also I don't have Wifi yet, so if you have questions, i might not be able to answer quickly. But thanks for sticking with this story anyway. I love you guys so much.

**\--- EMMA’S POV ---**

 

When I get back to my parents’ loft, I look around for Emma, but she’s luckily nowhere to be found yet. I sigh in relief. Luckily, she needs more time to sort through her fears and issues. I know she said she’ll go to the station to work a little, but that was a lie. It was a code for needing some alone time.

I should’ve thought of the possibility of her returning early beforehand, but it never even crossed my mind. I was too focused on fixing my mistakes and getting back home. Missing my baby is one of the hardest things I’ve ever faced – including my crappy childhood and multiple villains.

Also meeting up with Killian – no matter if he’s a past version of him or not – always leaves me kind of distracted. Him not remembering our love for each other doesn’t change that in the slightest. But who could blame me? I mean have you seen him? My husband is the most attractive guy to walk this planet and I’m not just saying that because I love him, which I do a lot. But it’s also the complete truth. Anyone sane would agree with me on this, unless they’re blind or stupid.

If you don’t agree, there’s something seriously wrong with you. I mean I could still admit that he’s devilishly handsome when I was still guarded like hell – even back when I denied that there’s even the slightest bit of a spark between us. I wouldn’t have used those exact words to mess with him, but I would be able to admit it to my own stubborn self. I also probably wouldn’t have told him any of this, but that’s doesn’t matter. Deep down I always knew that he’s incredibly hot.

“What has you so relieved and blushing, Emma? Did you run here?” Mary Margret says from kitchen. She’s looking at me intently, trying to read me and I could slap myself right now. Why didn’t I check whether she was here? I only searched for Emma and just ignored everything else – and well everyone else, too. I could’ve hidden my relief if I knew she was here. Then she would have no reason to be noisy about this. Hell, I should’ve known she was here anyway. She never left unlike Emma, dad and me.

Maybe I should’ve asked my dad to watch over Hope instead. He’s a great dad to me and in my timeline, he loves Hope a lot, too. Once she’s grown up into a teenager David and Killian will probably have fights about who can protect Hope from more boys, merely looking her way. They won’t let her date anyone until she’s at least fifty. And maybe my little brother and Henry will help them, too. They’re all quite fond of the newest family member.

The best thing is, that dad probably wouldn’t bother me about anything. He’d be too scared that I’d answer with missing my husband or something about our private life behind closed doors. That’s definitely something he doesn’t want to hear about. Not ever. I remember how he acted when I got back from my first date with Killian and my mom wanted to know every detail about it. He was even freaked out about the possibility that we might’ve kisse, which we did. It was great. We would’ve done more, if I wasn’t still living with my parents at that point.

My parents’ expressions and chats that night were kind of funny – especially my dads’. I would’ve laughed if they weren’t my parents and I wasn’t embarrassed.

But even if I would’ve asked dad to babysit, mom might still have stayed home with them, too. She wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to hang out with a baby. Especially in this timeline, in which she never got to hang out with me as a baby and my baby brother isn’t born yet.

Well he isn’t quite a baby anymore, but I like to taunt him with it. That’s what big sisters are for, right?

“Yes, I did run here.” Well not really but I let her believe so. I can’t talk to her about Killian since I might mess up and accidently reveal his identity. “There’s nothing wrong. I’m just glad to be back. I miss Hope like hell, so where is my little baby? I need to see her right now.” At least I don’t have to lie – I’m a terrible liar after all, but luckily Hope is here. My little savior. She is one, too, right? Since Killian and I share true love, so she’s the product of true love. If you want to be specific, she’s the product of true love in second generation. So, there’s a lot of love flooding through her veins. No wonder she’s so amazing. No one could ever help loving her.

Also, no wonder, that she was powerful enough to beam us back in time. I should’ve thought of her powers beforehand. Then we could’ve made her a little bracelet, which prevents her magic, until the age she’ll be able to control it. If that’s what she wants. I won’t choose for her whether she’ll want to have her own magic or not and I know Killian will agree with me. We want for her to be happy and for her to make decisions that help her and not hurt her. I won’t force her to give up her magic or the other way around. It has to be her choice.

“She’s sleeping in her crib upstairs.” Mary Margret says with a big smile on her face. I’m glad she’s happy for me. It sometimes doesn’t show since she’s always busy mothering Regina, but deep down she does love me. She wants the best for me now.

I guess she just doesn’t like spending as much time with me because she never got to be my mother, when I was still a child. I think seeing me makes her think of my painful childhood and that causes her guilt. So, she rather avoids me. I get it, I really do, but I must admit that it hurts a lot too. Sometimes I feel like she wishes Regina was her daughter instead. And that’s when I always get my whole abandonment issues again and again.

Thankfully I’ve got Killian now. I know he’ll never leave me and whenever I have a bad day, thinking back to the past, he helps me through it as best as he can. I love him for it. I could never even put into words how much he means to me.

My mom has to say no more before I sprint up the stairs and sit next to the crib. I look down at my little angel and a big smile instantly covers my whole face.

She really is sleeping soundly. Gosh, she is the most adorable sleeper with her tiny eyes closed and her tiny hands wrapped inside her onesie. I should get her another blanket since that could mean she’s freezing. I don’t want her to get a cold.

As if she senses my presence, she wakes up. I only got to watch this sleeping beauty – well not literally, I suppose, but still – for thirty seconds or so.

She looks up at me and smiles happily. She reaches her hand out to me and makes these noises that sound like a laugh.

I pick her up from the crib and hug her tightly to me. “Did you have a nice nap, sweetie? Mommy missed you a lot. She never wanted to leave in the first place but had to do it anyway. I’m sorry, my baby. I love you.”

She ‘laughs’ again and pulls lightly on my hair. Maybe I should get a haircut sometime since this way she always ends up pulling on it. “Hope Margret Swan-Jones.” I say quietly in a warning tone, which is still sounding very nice though. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get really mad at her. It’s the same way with Henry. I just love them so much, that I don’t even want to risk upsetting them. They’re my everything and deserve only the best.i need to protect them from any harm.

It’s also nice to be the fun parent.

Henry has Regina as a strict parent and Hope will have to deal with a cranky parent once she’s a teenager anyway – and spoiler alert, it won’t be me.


	27. Chapter 26

**\--- PAST EMMA’S POV ---**

It’s another slow day at the station due to most crimes being related to magic in this town. In those cases, there’s hardly ever anything to do for us. I mean it would be nice, if we could just put Gold into one of those two prison cells and all our problems would be fixed, but that’s never going to happen. It would be a dream if it was that easy.

Maybe David should rebuild that weird cell Gold was trapped in back in…well fairytale land, I suppose. That might be the only way to get rid of him. Then, I’d only have to deal with Regina’s tantrums since I can’t get rid of her – I’d love to do so, but it would make Henry sad and he’s my biggest priority. I’d never do anything to hurt him, even if it would make my life easier. I already knew that, when he was just the size of a peanut. I was always aware of the fact, that keeping him would be selfish. So, I gave him up for adoption, which hurt a lot since I never thought, I was ever going to be able to meet him.

But eventually I did meet him, and I couldn’t be more grateful for it. That’s why I never left Storybrooke – getting to spend to time with Henry, even if it would only be a second every other week, is worth having to live in this crazy small town.

Because for Henry, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make him happy.

Speaking of Henry, he should get home from school soon. He’s probably going straight to the loft to hang out some more with Hope. He seems to like her a lot. I never knew, he could get so excited over a new sibling, but apparently, he still has a way to surprise me – just like baby Hope.

I never thought, that I ever wanted a kid again. But I obviously will in the future. And since her arrival, I’ve kind of thought about having another kid in the far future again. I blame her cuteness for it.

Actually, I should visit her now and give her the present – the little Swan plushie for my tiny Swan. I do miss her after all and there’s no work to do here. David’s so absorbed in his paperwork, that he won’t notice I’m gone anway.

“I think I’ll go now, okay?” I say and look at David.

“Ok.” He says. I get up instantly, but David still has to be inquisitive. Why are both him and Mary Margret annoying like that? Can’t they ever just give me space? “Where are you going? Do you need me to go with you?” He crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“No, David. I’m fine.” With that I leave without ever giving him an explanation on my plans.

I know it’s rude, but it’s just what I’m used to. No one ever really cared about my whereabouts in the past, so now I just find it unnecessary for anyone to know where I’m going. It’s nobody’s business.

So, what if I’m planning to go to the loft, so I can give Hope her new toy? It’s nothing that matters to David or includes him in any way.

 

 

I get to the loft in record time and when I walk in Mary Margret instantly gets noisy, too. They really are the perfect couple, I suppose. Always teaming up against me like this, which they probably aren’t even trying to do, but it still feels a lot like it.

“Emma? You are back early. Is everything alright at the station? Why are you here?” she asks very quickly, not being able to await the answer.

“Everything’s fine, Mary Margret.” Her face falls a little like every time I call her Mary Margret. It’s her name, right, so she should be okay with me calling her that.

I know she wants me to call her mom, but I just can’t do that. I didn’t have parents for 28 years. I always lived with the knowledge that my parents abandoned me, and they kind of did. Sure, it was for a good reason – to help the whole town and all that. Me being supposed to break the curse, but that doesn’t change the fact, that I was all alone. With no one to love me for so long. They put everyone else before me, which might be a great quality for a leader, but it’s an awful quality for a parent.

David isn’t capable of looking at me without pitying me at the same time, which just kind of depresses me. I hate being pitied.

And Mary Margret kind of expects me to be okay with it and just get over it already because now the curse is broken. She just expects us to be a family – as if the last 28 years didn’t happen. Like the didn’t abandon me to help everyone else. But I can’t do that.

I can’t just forget all those years, that I was on my own – especially not in a matter of a few seconds like everyone expects me to. I’m not even sure, if I ever will.

I mean I probably will since my future self seems close to Mary Margret and David – she does call them mom and dad after all – but knowing it’ll happen, doesn’t really explain to me why I give them a second chance. As of right now I can’t imagine to ever truly forgive them, so I really wonder how the hell I gave in.

I’d ask Emma about it, but to be honest I’m too scared to know the answer.

I don’t want to feel pressured once Emma finds a way home to live towards certain things in my life. I suppose I won’t since she’ll find some forgetting potion, but who knows if that’ll work out.

I just can’t get my hopes up right now – or ever really. It’ll just break my heart in the end. For me, hope usually leads to disappointment, which is weird since I’ll apparently call my daughter after it. I must really be doing better than I ever was.

But still, deep down I doubt the future will remain the same, if I for some reason keep my memories. I know I’ll mess it up. I always do. And it’ll be my fault completely this time. I’ll have nothing to keep my guilt away.

It’s why I find it weird, that I’m supposed to be the Savior. Why does everyone expect me to save them, when I can’t even save myself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I know this has been the first update in like forever and I can't promise, that the next will come any sooner. My inspiration right now is at an all time low, which you probably noticed in this chapter, too since it kind of doesn't serve any purpose.  
> I am really grateful for all your continued support though. I know I don't really talk about it often, but it means everything to me. I love you all.


	28. Chapter 27

~~~ **EMMA’S** **POV** ~~~

 

 

I set her back down in her crib and just watch her in awe for a while. She falls back asleep soon after - still holding my finger in that tiny hand of hers. Guess I have to stay here until she wakes up now. And I‘m quite happy about that. I love every single excuse to spend time with my daughter - not that I would ever need an excuse.

 

As much as I want to get home to the rest of our family, I don’t want to sacrifice spending time with Hope in the process either. She’ll grow up far too fast as it is. Before I know it, she’ll leave just like Henry did. And then I missed like another 10 years of his life.

 

With Hope, I don’t want to have any regrets - time I missed with her and important stuff.

 

I have too many regrets when it comes to Henry already. Like if I wouldn’t have given him up for adoption, if I would have kept him, I’d have gotten ten years more with him. I never would’ve had to share him with Regina the rest of the time either. Ultimately I would’ve had far more time with him.

 

Maybe then him leaving wouldn’t make me as sad as it does now. Maybe it all wouldn’t be so hard and terrifying - I doubt that, but it’s possible.

 

Luckily I have Killian. And now also Hope. I don’t think I could’ve survived this without them. They’re my whole world. They distract me from missing Henry too much.

 

Technically I still get to see my little boy. He’s back in Storybrooke after all. But he has his own little family, so the time we spend together isn’t as much as it used to be. Now I understand my dad better, when he was acting so weird after I told him, that Killian’s moving in with me.

 

Sure without Hope and Killian, I would also still have my parents, but that’s not the same. They have each other, so I’d basically have to share them 24/7 just like Henry. Hope and Killian are all mine.

 

Suddenly I hear voices downstairs. I listen carefully until I can identify them as my mom and Emma.

 

I look at the clock. I’ve left her like an hour ago. And she’s back already? Seems like she’s making progress. It doesn’t seem like talking to me freaked her out that much. Must be a good sign. I think the more Emma accepts the situation and everything, the more she’ll have her magic under control.

 

The two of us together should be powerful enough to find me and Hope a way home. Let’s just hope it’ll happen soon. I really want to get back to my husband. I miss him as much as I love him, which is a lot.

 

Hope misses him too - her earlier crying proving as much. I hope I could have helped my little baby more then. She was able to hear his voice, but she couldn’t see him. Not the real him anyway. Maybe I should take her to see Hook. But then he might talk to my past self about it and then the kiss would come up and I’d be screwed.

 

We just have to find a way home soon. It can’t be that hard, right?

 

Why can’t Hope’s magic just freak out again and bring us home to Killian in an instant? That is if we didn’t change too much here. I couldn’t erase memories, if Hope took us back because I wouldn’t know until it’s too late.

 

But who knows, maybe nothing would change for the worse. Emma is here now, which means her walls are definitely shrinking and she seems to enjoy spending time with Killian - even if it still confuses her right now. But I can tell, they’d - we’d - be fine. It just takes a while, which is how it happened originally, too. So no harm done. Killian still seems to be a patient man and I trust him. It doesn’t matter to me, that he is still different to my Killian. This is how he was when we first met and I always knew deep down, that I could trust him.

 

That’s why I left him on the beanstalk after all. I was afraid because I trusted him and trust normally doesn’t come easy with me. He was the rare exception, which was probably caused by our true love.

 

A few minutes pass and then I hear Emma walking up the stairs. She waves to me. She has a bag from Sneezy’s store with her, which she sets down next to the bed. Soon she sits down next to me, looking at Hope with a smile.

 

Hope seems to sense her presence as she opens her eyes immediately. She isn’t crying, so she wasn’t woken up by noise. She just woke up like she’s well rested, which is unlikely because she just fell asleep. So, she knew Emma was here and she wanted to see her. That’s cute. She’s the sweetest little baby and I’m not being biased here.

 

“Hi, Hope. Did you have a nice nap?” Emma says softly, reaching out her pointer finger to Hope’s other hand. My baby grabs it - now holding on to both of our fingers tightly.

 

“I know you’re scared about the future, but there’s no need, Emma. You’re great with her. She loves you. So, don’t worry about anything. It’ll all be okay.” I say to Emma, hoping not to scare her away, but still wanting to make some progress.

 

“You think so?” Emma looks at me with big eyes. The expression on her face far too familiar to me - a lost girl, who didn’t matter and never thought she ever would. But she does matter. She has a lot of people, who love her and who would do anything for her.

 

I take her hand with the hand, that isn’t holding Hope’s and smile at her. “You’re great. And you will be fine. I know it all doesn’t seem that way right now. Especially because of our track record with happiness, but you will have an amazing future. I can promise you that. You just have to believe in it.” I say with determination. 

 

“You sound just like Henry.” She laughs a little.

 

“Yeah, I know. He is a smart kid.”

 

“The smartest.”

 

We smile at each other and then keep looking at Hope for a little while.

 

Emma grabs the bag she brought with her.

 

“I hope you don’t mind. I brought her a little present because she was so upset earlier. Wanted to cheer her up.” Emma pulls out a swan plushie from the bag.

 

“That’s great. She’ll love it. Thank you.” I hug my past self. At first she tenses for a second, but then she returns the hug.

 

Emma really is making a lot of progress. We might be able to go home soon after all. The more Emma loves Hope, the better her magic will work since magic is all about emotion. It’s why I could only use it in the beginning, when I was protecting the people I love.

 

I will say though, that I will miss my past self. She’s like the twin I never had with me being the first born, which is why I feel special protective of her. I don’t even see her as myself. She’s kind of another person to me. Maybe like a soulmate or something because we’re so alike.

 

Emma places the swan plushie carefully next to Hope in the crib. My little angel instantly lets go of mine and Emma’s hands and inspects the toy with her tiny finger.

 

That’s weird actually because she’s so small. I would’ve expected her to just not care about the toy for now, but she does. And it’s so damn adorable.

 

“She loves it.”


	29. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, that I've been absent from this story for so long. But now I've got a plan for the rest, so updates should happen quicker. No promises though.

**~~~ EMMA’S POV ~~~**

 

Hope and I have been trapped in the past for a whole month now. Every day I lose more and more confidence, that we’ll find our way back to Killian.

Why does time-travel have to be so freaking complicated?

Probably because it hasn’t been done yet – only twice. And somehow, I’m lucky enough to have been part of it both of those times. It just doesn’t feel like a whole lot of luck. I hate it actually.

I just want to go back home to the rest of my family. I see them here, but they’re so different. It doesn’t feel like my family is here at all sometimes. Just some other people, who might act similarly as my loved ones. They also treat me just the same, I suppose. But this still doesn’t feel like home.

I can tell because I miss my version of Storybrooke. I miss my future.

I don’t know how long I can go on like this. It’s hard.

I just want my husband back. He’s someone I can’t even really hang out with here since it’d be suspicious. We weren’t friends back then, after all.

I just miss him so bad.

Luckily, Hope doesn’t seem to be aging, despite us having been here for a whole month. She still looks like that cute 3-week-old baby. She also hasn’t learned anything new.

That’s great since it means, Killian isn’t missing out on anything - except spending time with us.

I wouldn’t wish that on him. I know how it feels like since I gave Henry up. I do have some fake memories of raising him from birth, but those aren’t real. I never got to see him grow up because he deserved his best chance and I couldn’t give that to him.

And it feels even worse knowing, that now I missed another big part of his life.

I don’t want that to happen to Hope and Killian, and it seems like it won’t. Unless, of course, we never make it back to Storybrooke. That would suck.

But Killian wouldn’t notice then, would he? Because the future would never be the same.

If I’m stuck here forever, I’ll never get married to Killian in the first place and Hope won’t even have been born. Will she just vanish one day?

I hope not. She’s my only real happiness in this place.

Except maybe Emma. She is kind of like a twin sister to me. I love that. I will miss her once we’re gone. I can tell it’s going to be hard for her to say goodbye, too. At least until I erase all of her memories.

Then, it’ll be like we never existed at all.

She isn’t enough reason to stay here though. I wouldn’t do that to her since me being here might mess up her happy beginning, too. I can’t risk that.

She deserves to be with Killian and Hope one day.

So, yeah, I have to find a way back home. It can’t be impossible, right? I just probably haven’t tried hard enough yet.

“Emma?” Mom’s voice surprises me and I almost jump.

I mutter Shit under my breath.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” She says quietly while approaching me. “I was doing some laundry and found these in your pockets. I thought, that I should give them to you.”

She puts both my engagement ring and wedding band in the palm of my hand.

I smile gratefully at her. “Thank you.”

She smiles in return and sits down next to me on the bed. She looks at Hope, who is lying in her crib. She has her eyes open but is completely quiet. She must be exhausted. She hasn’t slept much for a while now. I can tell, that she isn’t happy here either. She misses her dad.

I play with the rings by rotating them around my finger. I don’t even notice until mom looks at the rings.

“They’re beautiful, Emma.” She says softly.

“I know. My husband has got a good taste.” I smile proudly. He really does have really good taste. But what did I expect? He’s a pirate after all, so of course, he knows good jewelry.

But I can’t tell the past version of my mother.

“I’m glad you're happy.” She says. “Emma was so broken and lonely when we first found her. She still is. Sometimes I was worried, that she was never going to be okay. That she’ll never be happy. Thank you for showing up and showing me, that my baby gets what she deserves in the end.”

“You had doubts? Wow. That’s scary. No wonder I was so lost back then. If not even you were sure, I’d find my happy beginning. You are like optimism in human form.”

Mary Margret nods slowly like she’s afraid I’m going to get mad. I’m not though. I might’ve reacted that way a few years ago, but now I don’t see this as an attack.

“Hey, it’s okay that you worried about me. I never thought, that I’d ever be more than a lost little girl, who didn’t matter. But then Henry brought me to Storybrooke. For a long time, I didn’t realize this, but he wasn’t bringing me home to break a curse. He was bringing me home. He brought me back to my family.” A few happy tears run down my cheeks.

I can also see some tears forming in Mary Margret’s eyes.

I take her hand in mine and look at her with meaning.

“I’m not mad, that you were worried about me. It only means that you care deeply about me, which I really appreciate. Thank you.”

I hug her tightly.

Then we hear the front door and Hope starts crying. I pick her up and cuddle her. She calms down immediately.

A few moments later, Emma comes running up the stairs.

“Is everything okay? Did I startle her?” She asks worriedly.

“A little, but it’s fine. She’s okay now.”

Emma sighs and reaches out her arms. I give Hope to her and she cradles her head while balancing her on her hip.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispers into Hope’s ear.

I run my hand down Hope’s back. A mistake, I realize too late.

It only takes a moment until Emma’s eyes fixate on my rings. This is the whole reason I didn’t wear them - I didn’t want to freak her out and now I failed at that.

To my surprise though, Emma seems okay. She even has a soft smile on her face.

“It’s okay, if you wear them, you know? I know about you being married anyway, so there’s no need to hide them from me. I won’t freak out.”

Wow. She’s making progress. Maybe our combined magic will get me and Hope back home after all. Maybe she’ll be able to control hers soon. Who knows?

“Thank you.” I hug both her and Hope.


	30. Chapter 29

**~~~ EMMA’S POV ~~~**

 

Hope has been restless for far too long, so I decide to pay Hook a visit at his ship. I know seeing him will put my daughter at ease - damn the risk of changing the timeline. My baby needs this. I hate to see her sad. And I sort of need to see him, too.

I know he’s not my husband, but it’s close enough. This used to be Killian, which is all that matters to me.

I doubt, it’ll cause complications anyway. I think Emma and Hook are on quite good terms at the moment. I saw them at Granny’s having lunch together just a few days ago.

They seemed friendly.

So, it won’t confuse Hook that I want to hang out with him.

…

I arrive at the docks and walk to the Jolly Rodger. Hook isn’t on deck, so I go to check below deck. I climb down the latter, which is quite complicated with baby Hope on my arm. But I manage anyway. I walk to his door.

The door to his quarter’s stands open slightly. I can see him. He sits there at the desk with a glass of rum. I knock on the door softly, which causes it to swing open. I move into the doorway.

Hook looks up at me - a smile covering his whole face in an instant. Then, his eyes land on Hope, who is squirming in my arms at the sight of the past version of her dad. He looks at her softly and continues to smile.

“Babysitting again, Swan?” Hook asks with his eyebrow raised. He seems to be in a good mood judging by his voice.

I’m about to answer, that no I’m not babysitting since this is my child, but then I stop myself.

He still doesn’t know that there are two Emma’s. That’s probably for the best, too. He’s far too perceptive. I think he’d put together two and two and would realize, that Hope is his daughter. He’s not as guarded as I used to be after all. And he never made it a big secret, that he always had a thing for me. Maybe even back then and not just in Neverland.

Anyway, he can’t find out.

Then, Emma might find out and she’d definitely freak out.

So, yeah. He can never know!

“Yes. She’s adorable, so I like hanging out with her. Can we come in?” I say, smiling at Hope and then at him.

“Of course, love.”

I walk inside and sit on the table close to Hook’s chair. His smell fills my nostrils, which drives me crazy. I miss him so much and smelling him doesn’t help that in the least.

He softly runs his hand over Hope’s head. “Hello, little love.”

That’s when Hope starts reaching out her hands to him. I should’ve seen this coming! A second passes and she instantly starts to cry loudly. She can be quite stubborn if she doesn’t get her way.

“Would you mind?” I ask him while nodding to Hope. I rock her softly, but that’s obviously not helping. She wants her dad now. There’s no changing her mind. She must have inherited that from her dad. I’m not this stubborn!

He shakes his head and grabs the pink protector, which he had lying on his desk. I can’t believe he kept that! Does that mean he cares for her, even though he doesn’t even know she’s his daughter? That’s so cute!

Hook puts it on his hook and then, I place Hope in his arms. She stops crying in an instant and cuddles into his chest. She smiles up at him.

I wipe the tears off her face. That’s when Hook freezes. His eyes lock on my rings.

Oh shit. I know I shouldn’t have worn them in the past! Emma wasn’t the only problem, it was also the people, who don’t know I’m not her! People, who are unaware I’m married and have a baby.

Luckily it’s just Hook now. He always gets so confused by modern culture. I can just tell him, that these are fashion accessories. They’re worth much more than that and he’ll be able to tell. He’s a pirate after all, but I’ll just act like that’s normal in my realm.

He won’t know.

“Where did you get that ring?” He asks. His voice is barely above a whisper.

But he doesn’t sound sad or anything. So, what is going on?

I could imagine him being sad since he might think the person he loves is married to someone else. But what else could cause his reaction? What am I missing? Why can I suddenly not read him?

When I don’t say anything, Killian lifts up my hand with his hook to look at the rings more clearly. He gasps and looks at me with shocked eyes.

“Where did you get this, Swan?” He repeats more determined.

“Does it matter? It’s just a ring.” I try to play it cool. But, I doubt it’ll work. He won’t let this go so soon.

“This isn’t just a ring. Not to me anyway. It looks just like my mother’s.” He says.

I gasp.

Killian never mentioned, that my engagement ring was his mother’s. I did wonder how he paid for a ring in doubloons. But, I never asked, nor did I expect this! Oh my god. Did he really give me the last thing he had of his family? Again?

First, he gave up the Jolly Rodger to save me - his and Liam’s home. And now, he also gave me his mother’s ring!

I love him so much.

A tear slips down my face. I’m just so emotional and happy right now.

Hook stands up and wipes the single tear away with the pink protector on his hook. He looks at me with worry. “Is everything alright, Swan?”

“Yes. I’m fine.” I say, trying to sound cold, but that’s probably not working too well. Not when I’m standing opposite my true love.

“Then why are you crying, love?” He asks softly, while Hope reaches for his hook. She’s obsessed with it. It’s a good thing we both insisted on the protector. Otherwise, she’d hurt herself a lot.

“No reason.”

He looks at me with his damn blue eyes. He tilts his head slightly, indicating that he doesn’t believe a word I’m saying right now.

In addition to that, he also raises his eyebrow. Damn him! He knows I can’t say no to that eyebrow or to his incredible eyes for that matter.

I won’t get out of telling him, right?

I have to tell him everything. He won’t leave me alone until I do.


	31. Chapter 30

 

**~~~EMMA’S POV ~~~**

 

“Better sit down. What I have to tell you is crazy. You’ll think I’m insane, but it’s the truth nonetheless.” I say.

Hook looks at me weirdly, but still does what I tell him to do.

I sit back down on the table and look deeply into his eyes. I take a deep breath. Hook is carefully glancing at me with worry.

“So, I’m not actually Emma. Well, I am Emma, but not the one you know. I’m from the future and so is that little cutie in your arms.” I stop talking then. I want to give him some time now to let that information kick in.

And by the looks of it, he really needs this.

His lips are parted and he looks pretty confused despite being from a realm with magic. So, apparently I’m not the only one who easily gets freaked out by magic sometimes.

“You’re from the future?” He asks surprised. I can tell that he believes me though. I love that about him. He always has complete faith in me and treats me like I’m the greatest treasure - no matter which time or universe we’re in. Except the stupid wish realm, but that was supposed to be a nightmare, right?

Mine and Killian’s love is just so strong, that it can even survive time travel and evil authors, who want villains to win in life. Our love even survived death. We’re true love and Zeus approved.

That’s why I wasn’t afraid to tell him everything. I know he won’t cause trouble. And what does it matter, that I have to erase one more person’s memory now?

Maybe I should’ve even told him earlier. Then, me and Hope could’ve visited him all the time and she never would’ve had to be so sad.

He might even be able to figure out how to get us home. If I can be certain about one thing, it’s that my pirate is very resourceful. Especially, when it’s about something that benefits either me or Hope.

Now, I have more hope again.

I just believe that with Killian’s help I can get through all of this. Together we can defeat anything. That’s the way it’s always been.

“Yes. I’m from the future.” I say.

“And Hope is from the future, too?” He asks me. Is he really going to repeat everything I just told him? This will take a while, but I’m not complaining. Any excuse to spend more time with him is welcome.

I nod. “Yes. She’s my daughter.”

He smiles, but then something in his expression changes. He freezes for a moment.

Hook looks at my hand once again. Then, his gaze moves towards Hope, who is sleeping soundly in his arms. He has a soft smile on his face once again.

He looks back up at me - his gaze dropping to the rings on my hand multiple times. There is a certain vulnerability in his eyes. I recognise it from the echo caves - the first time he told me that he was falling in love with me. He looks at me the exact same way now.

Did he figure everything out?

“Swan, is she- Is Hope-?” He stammers.

He did figure it out, didn’t he? There’s no harm in telling him then.

“Yes. She’s your daughter, too. She’s ours.”

He smiles brightly and looks down at the sleeping bundle of joy. A few tears run down his face. I can tell what he’s thinking right now. _How the bloody hell did I get so lucky?_

When in reality the question should be mine. Killian and Hope are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I wonder every single day, how _I_ got so lucky.

In the past - when no one cared about me in the slightest - I never could’ve imagined my future. It’s just too perfect. Like it’s some unrealistic romance novel - a fairytale, perhaps?

“I love you so much, little lass.” Hook says to Hope. He still looks at her with so much adoration and love. The tears still flow.

I smile at the picture in front of me. It’s just so adorable.

Who would’ve thought that in this timeline, the fearsome Captain Hook would be so soft with his baby daughter?

I didn’t doubt it for a second. I know him too well for that. Even back then, I knew him pretty well. I just never would’ve admitted it to myself.

But we knew each other from the moment we first laid eyes on each other. We’re like kindred spirits - bonded by our awful pasts and maybe by our love for leather.

Hook then looks up at me with big eyes. He looks at my hand again. He’s going to ask now, won’t he?

“Swan, are we courting? Or are you wearing those rings because we have a child together?” He asks.

Courting, right. He still uses that word at times. It’s a weird word, honestly.

“We’re married.” I correct him. “And no. It’s not just for Hope’s sake.” His whole face lights up like a Christmas tree. “So, don’t you worry about Emma and you. Sure, she will push you away for quite some time. But you won’t give up and she’ll realize, that you are serious about her unlike everyone else before. You’ll end up together, so no worries.”

“Is this you telling me not to give up on her?” He raises his eyebrow.

“No. There’s no need for that. I know you won’t give up.”

Hook smiles softly. “So you really do trust me. I never would’ve thought that would happen, but it’s obvious now. You trusted me enough to tell me the truth about this and you’re also letting me hold our daughter. You sure though, that this won’t change the timeline, Swan? We can’t risk anything happening to this little love right here.” He looks at Hope.

“I will find a way back home. And before I leave, I’ll erase everyone’s memories of us. That should solve the problem. You’re going to help me get back home.”

His head shoots up and he raises his eyebrow. “Me? How am I supposed to help you, Swan? I don’t even have magic.”

“I know. But we’re a great team, so we’ll figure something out. Together.” I smile at him and run my hand softly over Hope’s head, brushing Hook’s arm in the process.


	32. Chapter 31

 

**~~~ EMMA’S POV ~~~**

 

“I will find a way back home. And before I leave, I’ll erase everyone’s memories of us. That should solve the problem. You’re going to help me get back home.”

His head shoots up and he raises his eyebrow. “Me? How am I supposed to help you, Swan? I don’t even have magic.”

“I know. But we’re a great team, so we’ll figure something out. Together.” I smile at him and run my hand softly over Hope’s head, brushing Hook’s arm in the process.

Then I smile at him, remembering our first adventure to the past. He hasn’t lived through it yet though. Then, I think about the fact, that maybe reliving some moments from that adventure might help me figure out how to get back home. Like some sort of inspiration.

So, I scratch my ear like I’ve seen Killian do a million times and ask him something that he once asked me. “So, any ideas on how to get back?”

I can see that he’s thinking about it for a second, but then he slightly shakes his head. He sighs. “No, I’m sorry, Swan. I’m not too familiar with magic.”

That’s what I thought.

We both look down at Hope as if she could say something and just suddenly fix all of our problems. But unfortunately, she’s just a baby. She can’t help us. Not with this - at least for now. And since she doesn’t seem to be aging, nor do I particularly want to stay here for years, I guess I have to fix this on my own.

Then I can feel Hook’s gaze on me once again. I look up at him. He seems to want to ask me something but is obviously hesitant. I’ve never known him to be shy. Must be because the baby still makes him sort of nervous. It’s the same with my Killian back in my own timeline.

He’s always so worried about her, that he just gets kind of shy at times when we’re alone. And overprotective at all other occasions. It was really annoying during my pregnancy since he just wanted me to be too careful with every single thing in the world - but I do love him for it.

I give Hook one of his encouragement nods to signalize to him, that he can ask me anything.

He gives me a small smile, before beginning to talk. “Swan, does anyone else know, that you are here? Like in the past?”

I nod.

“Yes. My parents and Emma know, too. It was sort of an accident just like our first meeting.” Hook sucks in a breath at my mention of Emma knowing the truth. He seems to be freaking out right now. Did he tell her about the kiss? If that is the case, it’s honestly a wonder Emma hasn’t put two and two together.

I must have been even more guarded than I think I was.

“Don’t worry. Emma knows about me being here, but she doesn’t know about the two of you. If she would, she probably would’ve run back to Boston already. She did almost do that when she first found out about Hope, but it’s okay now. The baby and the idea of having her has grown on her quite a bit. You two seem to be getting along well, so I doubt she would still run if she found out.” I give him a reassuring smile.

Hook sighs loudly in relief.

“Good. I was afraid, that she figured it out about us because I did mention that kiss on the Jolly quite often to her. Or was that you?”

I shake my head. “Nope. That was Emma. But wait for a second, you told her?!” I ask surprised. So, Emma did know and she didn’t run?

That’s a good sign.

So, I was probably right a few weeks ago, when Emma acted weird after she saw Hook at the Rabbit Hole. I always knew, that there was something she wasn’t telling me - something big.

But she also got over her panic rather quickly, which made me doubt my theory. But apparently, she isn’t as guarded as I thought she was. That might be because of her connection to Hope - it must affect her in some way, right? In a hopeful and positive way most likely.

Maybe Emma does know about her future with Hook subconsciously and that’s why they get along so well lately - without that taking years.

I think I might have an idea on how to get us home. Perhaps, Emma and Hook have to fall in love with each other in this timeline. Maybe true love’s kiss will bring us back because the product of mine and Killian’s true love brought us here. The answer to my problems might’ve been staring right in my face for quite some time.

“Emma, is everything okay? You seem vexed, love.” Hook says softly, now standing right next to me with Hope. He looks at me with worry.

“I think I might have an idea on how to get home,” I say - a big smile spreading across my face.

Hook smiles back at me a little and gives me one of his famous encouraging nods to let me know he’s all ears.

“Hope’s magic brought us here, and it looked nothing like an actual time portal or any portal, really. So, I believe we might be able to fix this with true love’s kiss.” I say warily. I haven’t exactly told him, that what we have is true love. I’m not sure how he’s going to react, honestly.

I mean he did never make it a secret, that he fancied me - even then. But true love? That might even freak him out a bit. I doubt it, but it’s a possibility.

“So, if your parents know about you, then let them do just that. And then we’ll see if it’s working.” Hook says, once again proving that he always believes in me.

“She was not conceived by their true love, so that won’t work I’m sure. I was thinking, that you need to make Emma fall in love with you.”

He looks puzzled for a second. He looks at Hope, who lets out a cute little sound. But then realization dawns on him and his head snaps up to meet my gaze. “Wait, are you saying - ?”

“Yes. It’s true love.”

I see the brightest smile on his face. I think the only two times I’ve seen a brighter smile were on our wedding day and the day that I told him I was pregnant with Hope.

“I’m obviously not sure it’ll work, but it’s worth a try, right? Emma and you get along so well lately, that I think it’ll all work out just fine. Will you help me?”

“Of course, Swan.” His voice sounds very excited. But how could I blame him - he just found out that we’re true love back in a time he wasn’t sure his feelings would ever be returned - for all he knew the future could change after all. This is basically confirmation to him, that one day the woman he loves will love him, too. And he’ll be with her forever. “I’d go to the ends of the world for Emma, you and this little lass.”


End file.
